Top Ten Reasons Why Fat Friends Are Great!
10 - We always want to grab a bite to eat, so you will never have to eat along again.
9- Because we encroach on other seats in the movie theater no one wants to sit near us, it's like you are going to a private screening.
8- If you are learning to cook it's a good way to build confidence because we will eat any old crap.
7- Because our clothing is over sized you can always borrow a shirt and use it as a car cover for your mini-cooper.
6- Errah, John Candy, pants can substitute as an additional sail when you are on the Barnacle and need a little extra win to win the Summer Regatta.
5- If you sell bibs you will be very rich because fat people spill food like it's their job
4- You never have to pay for food, because you can feed a family of starving third world children from the crumbs that we drop.
3- The wider the ass the larger the sign you can sell that says something like "Pokerstars.net"
2- Relative to other ailments, disabilities, or conditions you can show the world you have sympathy for someone less fortunate, without having to listen to incoherent thoughts, potty train someone, or push someone around in a wheel chair.
1- No matter what you look like next to a fatty you are a fucking Superstar!
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