2/20/12 – 2/26/12 Week Recap, Weigh-In
Monday Morning Weigh 02/27/2012
I’ve spent the last week or so trying not to get too deep into my own head. It’s tough to try and achieve some balance between doggedly pursuing your goals, and maintaining a small degree of sanity.
I’ve done my best to not obsess about what I eat, and haven’t used the MynetDiary app on my phone since the end of the Paleo Challenge. I’ve also only weighed myself a handful of times over a two week period.
At this point if I can continue to lose weight at 1.5-2 lbs a week I’ll be ok. I haven’t weighed any of my food in two weeks, nor have I allowed the scale to be my ritualistic morning cup of “joe”. Nothing wakes you up faster then your adrenal glands spitting adrenaline into your body because you are pissed off!
I have been using other factors to determine how I feel about my body, like which notch on my belt feels more comfortable (lately the closer in the better), and if the present pair of XL underwear is fitting loser than the day before. The workout t-shirts which I bought towards the end of the Paleo Challenge were tight when I bought them, I could fit into them, but I felt a bit uncomfortable, like someone was constantly squeezing my manboobs.
These shirts now fit me the way they are supposed to, and that’s what I’m wearing to workout. I have all but eliminated all of the XXL workout clothes form my closet. There are a handful of T-shirts I keep as just in case measures.
What I am experiencing is a shift in my attitude, from a desperate push to take off as much weight as I could by whatever means necessary, to a mindset of understanding that what I am doing is a lifestyle change and that I have to accept that when I’m under 300 lbs the weight isn’t going to come off at a rate of 5-8 lbs a week anymore. This is about the long term life I want to lead, and not the quick lift by a short term loss of a big number.
I am trying my best to keep my focus on the bigger picture, like ascending Mount McKinley in 2014. I may try in 2013, but that will be determined how I feel at the end of my Mountaineering Seminar this year.
Humility in CrossFit
The work involved in CrossFit has a funny way of humbling everyone, it’s one of the factors that keeps people engaged, when you are put into your place it creates an even deeper drive to get better. I haven’t had many days where I felt a sense of pride after I finished a workout, but at the end of the WoD last Tuesday I will have to admit I walked out with a smile.
The Tuesday WoD included doing strict pull-ups, or muscle-ups. I can’t do either, so I worked on banded pull-ups, begin the self-loathing here…
Then the Metcon that day was a 30-20-10 of Kettle Bell Swings with 70 lbs bell, burpees, and Push Presses with 95 lbs. When I read the WoD the night before, I knew I could do all of these movements, and was just excited at the possibility of doing a WoD as prescribed.
I finished my first round in about 5 minutes, the second round in 3 plus minutes, and the last round in about 90 seconds. I finished the entire WoD in 10:09. No biggies I thought.
I recorded the entire workout, but set the camera too low, so all you see is my ass. I wanted to post this clip which is one that essentially shows what not to do, the Kettlebell got so heavy that on the 19th rep of the second round I almost lost it behind my head.
When I finished I started walking around, wondering what everyone was doing, not realizing that they were still working. Bryan G. who is a badass, and constantly makes me feel like a five year old, was still working. Later I realized that I finished 3 minutes faster then him, I figured Bryan had a bad day, and I had a good one, doesn’t happen often but even a degenerate gambler wins sometimes.
The smiles didn’t really happen until later in the day, as I obsessively followed the Patriot blog, to see the times of other people. I realized around lunch time that I had posted an excellent time, which has only happened one other time during my tenure at PCF.
I have to admit this was a good feeling; I savored that shit like a sunset in Key West.
That was Tuesday.
Wednesdays WoD the very next day simple workout of 3 rounds of 400 meter runs, and 3 rounds of 400 meter rows. I didn’t do poorly, but not great. The entire time I felt like a big fat load.
Thursday’s WoD was the first workout of the CrossFit Games Open. The open is the first stage of the games, and is open to everyone. It’s an egalitarian approach to finding out how much you suck at everything.
Here is the video on the week one workout.
It was a 7 minute AMRAP of burpees. They changed the standards for the burpees, and it was necessary to touch a target that was 6” above your middle finger when extended. This was a minor change which turned into a significant one.
Normally at the top of a burpee you have to hop, and clap your hands together, which allows you to still keep your eyes focused on the ground for the next burpee. Also the addition of the target made it so that the uncoordinated people like myself, had turn the movement into two separate motions, the down and up, then the jump up to touch the target.
I was hoping to set a pace of 12-15 burpees a minute for the entire 7 minutes. It didn’t happen that way. After the third minute I kept missing the target. I would touch with the right hand, and miss with the left, which meant that I would have to jump again to touch the target, perhaps another imbalance in my body. I ended up finishing with 76.
Disheartened would be an understatement, I felt I should have been able to do at least 90. It bothered me so much that I did it again Sunday night and finished with 85. I’m still unhappy about this score because during my second attempt around the 70th burpee I gave up inside.
My drive and determination were lost.
The fact that I know I gave up, bothers me more than the end result.
What started as a week of workouts on a high, ended on a personal low, a feeling which has me thinking perhaps it’s time for a rest, and part of me which thinks I should push even harder to get better. For me this is as the core of why I am becoming a kool-aid drinker.
There is constant room for improvement, and as you get better, you find new ground to improve on, and you realize that no matter how good you maybe at something there is always someone better. This is a reality that I think most adults understand, yet it is ever more real when learned through physical endeavors, because in this world we rely on no one else other than ourselves. We have no one to blame other than ourselves, and the end result has a direction correlation to what we did to “put in” to the activity.
Being humbled is a part of CrossFit, and understanding that there is constant room for growth is at the heart of why I am jumping into this cult.
I went to the informational meeting on Saturday for CrossFit Endurance, as I love running…fuck no, I hate running. Running is useless, unless running from wild animals who want to eat you.
With this obvious love of running, I have somehow committed to a 5k, a Spartan Race, and a Tough Mudder. How the fuck did that happen?
CFE meets three times a week, with the program being 2 days a week of interval training, and 1 day a week of a time trial or a tempo run. We will see how it works out. It begins the First Tuesday in March…yeah running!!!!
Just Kill me Now!