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04/15/12 Official Weigh In

04/15/12 Official Weigh In

241 lbs

I passed a major milestone without realizing it. 

I have now lost 202 lbs from my heaviest, yet I don’t feel a sense of pride or excitement, in fact I feel a bit of indifference.  I don’t know if it’s because my goals have changed, or if it’s because that 202 lbs feels as distant as the sun.  I’m clearly not wrapped up in the weight number as much as I was a few months back, a big part of it is because I have gained quite a bit of mobility, and I can buy clothes in a regular store.

A recent photograph I saw was like a slap in the face, it was hard to accept that I am not as fat as I feel.  The photo was from a group photo taken with the CrossFit Endurance Team at W&L track a few weeks back, if not for the fact I was trying to make Pete feel uncomfortable by placing my head as close to possible to his, I would not have immediately picked myself out of this lineup. 

Mainly because when I used to look for myself in a group photo I would look for the biggest person in the picture, it was easy it would be like picking out a sumo wrestler in a lineup of Olympic Female Gymnast. 

Is he holding his kid, or is it his lunch?

I’m still a big guy, but not bizzaro big.  I think it will be a long while before I internalize the notion that I’m not a big fat mess, I’m now just a fat mess.

I am still careful with what I eat, but it’s not an obsession where I am weighing my foods, or carefully calculating the ratio of Fat, Protein, and Carbohydrates.  I am very aware of how much volume of food I’m consuming, and making sure to not over eat on the protein, but not so anal about my food consumption that I will choose to workout an extra hour if I eat more than I planned. 

As time goes on I am far more focused on performance, which somehow has lead me to signup for the Rare 10K this Saturday.  I ran a marathon when I was 16, and that was at the end of 30 days in the Rockies with Outward Bound.  Since that time the longest distances I’ve run strictly for the sake of running was three weekends ago when I accidently ran just over 3 miles with CFE.  Don’t ask me how a person accidently runs more than planned, but a mutha fucka got lost in the woods. 

With that most recent experience in the woods I have somehow made a decision that it would be smart to run a 10 K which has pit-stops that involve doing CrossFit WoDs.  One of the stations last year was to do 100 kettle bell swings with a 35 lbs kettle bell, not to mention the couple of miles that people had to carry a plate, or a kettle bell. 

Am I just stupid or a masochist?

 

To be perfectly clear if not for the Tough Mudder next month, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be doing this, I figure it will mentally prepare me for the grueling experience that the Mudder is going to be, yet I know the Mudder won’t be as bad, because the goal is to finish as a team. 

The more I think about the Rare 10K, I have images of myself getting lost in the woods, or taking so long that basically the post workout party will start without me, and I’ll be done by the time they are cleaning up the finish line.  

Is it insane for me to think this?

I don’t know…but I do know the fear I felt about this race is the main reason I signed up for it.  The more weight I lose, the more I am choosing to not be fearful in my life, I’ve spent so much time being afraid, that I no longer want to succumb to it, but it attack it with every ounce of energy that I can muster.

I am not brave by any means, but overcoming fear is a nice way to emulate those who are braver than I am…

03/12/2012 Official Weigh In, Changing my Meals, CFE Addiction,

Official Weigh In 03/12/12

254 lbs

I am not surprised by my weight, in fact I new what I would weigh even before I got on the scale.  I’m developing a relative understanding of how much my body weighs on any given day based on how I feel, where my gut is in relation to my manboobs, and just in general whether I feel bloated or not.

I’ve come to a realization that there are a few factors which are crucial to weight loss, based on my personal experience and my recent plateau, I know the following, and it’s hence forth known as simply “The Way”.

1. Controlling insulin through diet is paramount to mobilizing stored fat cells.
2. Sleep, good healthy sleep is necessary not only to just function, but it will inevitably control how you eat as well, think about the last time you had a day of just mindless eating and recall if the night before whether or not you got a good nights rest.  The Paleo Heads swear by an 8 hour night, which I’m not sure is accurate, but what is clear is good sound sleep is necessary.
3. It’s a lot easier to stay full on a diet that uses fat as a substantial source of calories instead of carbohydrates.
4. Calories do matter when put in the proper context, I now believe the major issue with most weight loss methodologies is that they look at specific parts, and specific points of view not taking into account the entire picture.  There is no point in trying to control calories when your macronutrient profile isn’t conducive to weight loss, and your hormones are whacked.  In the battle against your internal systems, you my friend will lose every time.
5. Physical activity is necessary, the weight loss path is one that is 70% made up of what you put in your mouth, but that last 30% is driven by what you do with your body.  The more active you are the easier it is to eat clean.  There are consequences to not eating well when you partake in physical activity; further the strength and sense of well being you receive from working out all work to empower your mind as well as your body. 

In the last few weeks I know that I’ve stayed strict on what I eat, yet I think I have been overeating.  Through a combination of overworking (work), overworking (CrossFit), and not sleep, I found myself taking in large servings of meat after a meal.  It typical fat guy activity of double dipping, at one point I had to stop myself, and I realized that I was starting down the road to 400 lbs again.

I remember eating an entire KFC 4 piece meal, then eating some Korean BBQ, with a big ass bowl of rice, and three sodas to wash it all down, and five or six cigarettes to settle the bubbling in my stomach.  I almost feel like my go to method of coping when tired is food, not sleep, not rest, but food.   

With the goals I have for this year, I know in the next two weeks I have to change something with my meal plan, and do everything I can to eat like a normal person.  I’m going to start by making a slight change.

The Power Supply meals I order, which are Paleo Meals delivered to my CrossFit gym, are ok, but the portion sizes are inconsistent.  Often times lunch isn’t adequate enough, so I‘ll take something to make sure I stay satisfied throughout the day.  Sometimes I will end up eating two lunches. 

This is not good for a reforming fat guy, those two lunches are still half the size of my normal lunch but it’s a mental pattern that I have to break, so I sent an e-mail this morning to Power Supply to cancel my lunch meals.  I am going to just order dinner, and use them as my lunches. 

The Power Supply dinner portions are better suited for a girthy man like me.  They will make a decent lunch, and I will cook a little more, which is better because I can exercise more control over what I eat. 

I’m also hoping this will get my caloric intake more inline with my goals, and I am going to find that healthy medium where I am still losing weight, yet maintaining workout performance.

Eating is something that I have to learn how to do, and establish patterns and habits which are conducive to my personal healthy state.

We’ll see how this works through this month; I’d like to get below 250 this month, in the mid 240’s.  I really want to see that 244 on the scale, 200 lbs.  At that point I am seriously going to find a cosmetic surgeon to get a consultation on my excess skin.  I can see the excess skin all over my body.

CFE Addiction

I hate running, it’s no mystery that I fucking hate running, but the interval training we are doing is becoming addictive.  The first two intervals always suck.  It’s in the third and fourth that I am able to find what I am always seeking.

The dark place.

I am oh so happy to have found my dark place again.  I’ve experienced it twice, where I’ve almost wanted to completely give up, but was able to push through getting stronger.  It’s like a wall of shame I feel because I feel weak, and when I can power through it, I feel invincible, this is all irrational thoughts, and behaviors but it gets me to do things which I have been unable to do in the past.

If I can continue to experience this through CFE, I’ll be hooked.

I was thinking about my initial mile time trial of 7:09.  A year ago today, I was over 370 lbs, and if you tried to get me to run 15 feet I would have choked, and passed out, or broken my knee.  

Running is going to become something I love to hate, and hate to love.  Fuck me…

2/20/12 – 2/26/12 Week Recap, Weigh-In

2/20/12 – 2/26/12 Week Recap, Weigh-In

Monday Morning Weigh 02/27/2012

253.8 lbs

It’s progress…

I’ve spent the last week or so trying not to get too deep into my own head.  It’s tough to try and achieve some balance between doggedly pursuing your goals, and maintaining a small degree of sanity.

I’ve done my best to not obsess about what I eat, and haven’t used the MynetDiary app on my phone since the end of the Paleo Challenge.  I’ve also only weighed myself a handful of times over a two week period. 

At this point if I can continue to lose weight at 1.5-2 lbs a week I’ll be ok.  I haven’t weighed any of my food in two weeks, nor have I allowed the scale to be my ritualistic morning cup of “joe”.  Nothing wakes you up faster then your adrenal glands spitting adrenaline into your body because you are pissed off!

I have been using other factors to determine how I feel about my body, like which notch on my belt feels more comfortable (lately the closer in the better), and if the present pair of XL underwear is fitting loser than the day before.  The workout t-shirts which I bought towards the end of the Paleo Challenge were tight when I bought them, I could fit into them, but I felt a bit uncomfortable, like someone was constantly squeezing my manboobs. 

These shirts now fit me the way they are supposed to, and that’s what I’m wearing to workout.  I have all but eliminated all of the XXL workout clothes form my closet.  There are a handful of T-shirts I keep as just in case measures. 

What I am experiencing is a shift in my attitude, from a desperate push to take off as much weight as I could by whatever means necessary, to a mindset of understanding that what I am doing is a lifestyle change and that I have to accept that when I’m under 300 lbs the weight isn’t going to come off at a rate of 5-8 lbs a week anymore.  This is about the long term life I want to lead, and not the quick lift by a short term loss of a big number.

I am trying my best to keep my focus on the bigger picture, like ascending Mount McKinley in 2014.  I may try in 2013, but that will be determined how I feel at the end of my Mountaineering Seminar this year.

Workouts

Humility in CrossFit

The work involved in CrossFit has a funny way of humbling everyone, it’s one of the factors that keeps people engaged, when you are put into your place it creates an even deeper drive to get better.  I haven’t had many days where I felt a sense of pride after I finished a workout, but at the end of the WoD last Tuesday I will have to admit I walked out with a smile.

The Tuesday WoD included doing strict pull-ups, or muscle-ups.  I can’t do either, so I worked on banded pull-ups, begin the self-loathing here…

Then the Metcon that day was a 30-20-10 of Kettle Bell Swings with 70 lbs bell, burpees, and Push Presses with 95 lbs.  When I read the WoD the night before, I knew I could do all of these movements, and was just excited at the possibility of doing a WoD as prescribed. 

I finished my first round in about 5 minutes, the second round in 3 plus minutes, and the last round in about 90 seconds.  I finished the entire WoD in 10:09.  No biggies I thought.

I recorded the entire workout, but set the camera too low, so all you see is my ass.  I wanted to post this clip which is one that essentially shows what not to do, the Kettlebell got so heavy that on the 19^th rep of the second round I almost lost it behind my head.

  

When I finished I started walking around, wondering what everyone was doing, not realizing that they were still working.  Bryan G. who is a badass, and constantly makes me feel like a five year old, was still working.  Later I realized that I finished 3 minutes faster then him, I figured Bryan had a bad day, and I had a good one, doesn’t happen often but even a degenerate gambler wins sometimes. 

The smiles didn’t really happen until later in the day, as I obsessively followed the Patriot blog, to see the times of other people.  I realized around lunch time that I had posted an excellent time, which has only happened one other time during my tenure at PCF.

I have to admit this was a good feeling; I savored that shit like a sunset in Key West.    

That was Tuesday.

Wednesdays WoD the very next day simple workout of 3 rounds of 400 meter runs, and 3 rounds of 400 meter rows.  I didn’t do poorly, but not great.  The entire time I felt like a big fat load.

Thursday’s WoD was the first workout of the CrossFit Games Open.  The open is the first stage of the games, and is open to everyone.  It’s an egalitarian approach to finding out how much you suck at everything. 

Here is the video on the week one workout. 

  

It was a 7 minute AMRAP of burpees.  They changed the standards for the burpees, and it was necessary to touch a target that was 6” above your middle finger when extended.  This was a minor change which turned into a significant one.

Normally at the top of a burpee you have to hop, and clap your hands together, which allows you to still keep your eyes focused on the ground for the next burpee.  Also the addition of the target made it so that the uncoordinated people like myself, had turn the movement into two separate motions, the down and up, then the jump up to touch the target. 

I was hoping to set a pace of 12-15 burpees a minute for the entire 7 minutes.  It didn’t happen that way.  After the third minute I kept missing the target.  I would touch with the right hand, and miss with the left, which meant that I would have to jump again to touch the target, perhaps another imbalance in my body.  I ended up finishing with 76. 

Disheartened would be an understatement, I felt I should have been able to do at least 90.  It bothered me so much that I did it again Sunday night and finished with 85.  I’m still unhappy about this score because during my second attempt around the 70^th burpee I gave up inside. 

My drive and determination were lost. 

The fact that I know I gave up, bothers me more than the end result.

What started as a week of workouts on a high, ended on a personal low, a feeling which has me thinking perhaps it’s time for a rest, and part of me which thinks I should push even harder to get better.  For me this is as the core of why I am becoming a kool-aid drinker. 

There is constant room for improvement, and as you get better, you find new ground to improve on, and you realize that no matter how good you maybe at something there is always someone better.  This is a reality that I think most adults understand, yet it is ever more real when learned through physical endeavors, because in this world we rely on no one else other than ourselves.  We have no one to blame other than ourselves, and the end result has a direction correlation to what we did to “put in” to the activity. 

Being humbled is a part of CrossFit, and understanding that there is constant room for growth is at the heart of why I am jumping into this cult.

CrossFit Endurance

I went to the informational meeting on Saturday for CrossFit Endurance, as I love running…fuck no, I hate running.  Running is useless, unless running from wild animals who want to eat you.

With this obvious love of running, I have somehow committed to a 5k, a Spartan Race, and a Tough Mudder.  How the fuck did that happen?

CFE meets three times a week, with the program being 2 days a week of interval training, and 1 day a week of a time trial or a tempo run.  We will see how it works out.  It begins the First Tuesday in March…yeah running!!!!

 Just Kill me Now! 

02/11/2012 Paleo Challenge Finale, Final Challenge Weigh In, and Future Plans

02/11/2012 Paleo Challenge Finale, Final Challenge Weigh In, and Future Plans

Paleo Challenge Winners

Guess who is not in this picture?

Saturday morning I woke up feeling less than perfect.  I took a Dayquil, an occicilium, drank two cups of coffee, took some endurolytes, and ate some starchy carbs.  I took my dog for a walk to loosen up my legs, but I was stiff and sore from the day before.

After dropping off Benny at Doggy Daycare (I know, it’s insanity), I had an early lunch, and picked up Catelyn who I sometimes give a ride to on the weekends.  She’s been doing CrossFit just short of a year now, and is turning into the “Elite-Elite” athlete that everyone aspires to be, she’s quiet but handles her workouts with subtle intensity, where as I am the typical ogre who will start grunting, I seriously hate that shit but I can’t help it, when shit gets heavy it just comes out.

When we got to Patriot the 12 o’clock Saturday class was in the middle of their Metcon, so there wasn’t much room to stretch, or warm-up.  While rolling out on the foam roller I realized that I had forgotten one of the most valuable tools I have when I feel like shit.  I forgot my dose of Core Zap,which is a thermogenic pill (aka fat burner), which has a nice serving of caffeine and some herbal stuff in it, so I bolted out of the box and drove to Arlington Nutrition Corner about a mile and half away to buy some more.  Who knows how effective this product really is in giving me an extra boost, but it gives me a level of confidence when I am less than 100%. 

When the Paleo Challenge WoDs started I was stilling wearing my sweatshirt, and sweatpants, and a beanie.  I couldn’t get warm.  Even with the Zap, and the increased water intake I just could not get warm.

I started the first WoD without my sweatpants, but with my sweatshirt and beanie still on, which rarely ever happens, because my body normally runs at a hotter temperature.  The first WoD was an AMRAP of 4 minutes, 1 minute of pull ups, 1 minute of push ups, 1 minute of sit ups, 1 minute of air squats.  The air squats I thought would be a problem, but it turns out the sit-ups and the ring rows (sub for pull ups) were my Achilles heal. 

All the weeks leading up to the challenge I would practice parts of this WoD if one of the motions was included in the programmed Workout of the Day, so if we had a 10 minute AMRAP that had push-ups, sit-ups, or air-squats as part of the workout I would watch the clock and count to see how many reps I could do in a minute, or if it was say 25 reps I would see how fast I could do them. 

Based on some unscientific calculations, I figured I had worked myself up to being able to finish 35-40 push ups, 40 sit-ups, and 60 air squats.  I knew that the percentage change would play a big role in the competition, and realized that the AMRAP’s gave the biggest opportunity to make that change, especially on the WoD 1.

In the end I just didn’t have enough in the tank.  I made improvements in each category but not to the degree I was expecting. 

Day 1 WoD 1 Numbers           vs.        Day 36 WoD 1 Numbers

Ring Rows 26   (20.8)                          Ring Rows 31   (24.8)              

Push Ups 27                                         Push Ups 35

Sit Ups 28                                            Sit Ups 30

Squats 43                                             Squats 53

Total Score      118.8                           Total Score      142.8

                                    % change of 20

After the first WoD I felt like shit!!!!!  A complete pile of heaping elephant dung, I changed into dry clothes; I put on my sweatpants, sweatshirt, and new beanie.  I also ate a primal pak which has beef jerky, nuts and dried fruit.  I drank two Vitococo waters, and kept moving around.  My body temperature was falling down again. 

There was about an hour plus of discussion about the challenge, which I didn’t spend much time listening to because, I just wanted to keep moving around so I didn’t get cold.  When it appeared that it was almost done I popped four Core Zaps, and pounded a Vitococo water…sugar and caffeine cures everything. 

During the second WoD we had 22 minutes to establish a 1 rep maximum for a power clean.  I hadn’t done much with power cleans, except one night of barbell club, so I wasn’t expecting much, to be perfectly honest I figured I would be in good shape if I just did my previous weight of 175 lbs. 

Each time I went down to the bar and did a power clean, I would put the bar down, and get lightheaded.  The heavier the weight got, the longer the dizziness spells were, when I did 175 lbs I felt a huge sense of relief.  So with nothing to lose I went for 185 lbs.  I attempted it 3 times, with no success, then Ryan said to me don’t spend an hour at the bottom, just grab it and go to build some momentum, I did and power cleaned 185 lbs.  It was ugly, but it was scored.  Any attempts at heavier weights was just futile, my body wasn’t going to have it.

My workout partner John Anderson, who owns the finest tobacco shop in DC, W. Curtis Draper Tobacconist with two locations, DC and Bethesda, visit them on the web at http://www.wcurtisdraper.com/ I can’t help it he paid me to write that, added 25 lbs to his power clean. 

Day 1 WoD 2 Numbers           vs.        Day 36 WoD 2 Numbers

1 rpm Power Clean 175 lbs                  1 rpm Power Clean 185 lbs

                                    % change of 5

Following the second WoD we broke our gear down for WoD 3.  I again pounded a Vitacoco water, and a full bottle of water.  My goal for this WoD was to get more than 6 rounds.  My previous attempt I got 5 + 9 reps. 

I let John go first so I could recover a little more, and in hindsight I think I should have gone first because the adrenaline was pumping to the point where in a short 6 minute AMRAP it would have boosted me through the first couple of minutes.  I felt that jolt go away halfway through John’s workout. 

The workout was as prescribed 5 burpees, 10 kettlebell swings with a 53 lbs kb, and 15 push presses with a 45 lbs bar.  I used a 55 lbs dumbbell because that’s what I got stuck with the first time.  The dumbbell sucks because it’s much harder to drive it upwards with your hips because only one hand has a true grip on the bell.

When I started I blew through the first three rounds finishing each one under a minute, in fact the first round I think I finished right around 40 seconds.  In fact I think in the first round I jumped from my burpee right into the position to grab the kettlebell.  Rounds 4 and 5 I started to slow down, and it was enough that I didn’t have enough time to finish round 6.  I ended up completing 5 full rounds, and did 20 reps, I was 10 push presses away from the 6^th round.  I could have picked up the 8 more seconds I needed easily by not resting and picking up the barbell faster each round.

I might do the challenge again just to see if I can get 6 rounds of work on this one workout.

Day 1 WoD 2 Numbers           vs.                    Day 36 WoD 2 Numbers

6 Minute AMRAP                                            6 Minute AMRAP

5 Burpees                                                         5 Burpees

10 Kettlebell Swings 53 lbs (55 lbs)                  10 Kettlebell Swings 53 lbs (55 lbs)

15 Push Presses 45 lbs                         15 Push Presses 45 lbs

5 rounds + 9                                                     5 rounds + 20

Total Score 159                                               Total Score 170

                                    % change of 7

So here are the final numbers:

 

Beginning Weight 274 lbs                                  Ending Weight 257

                                    % change of 6, 17 lbs weight loss.

WoD Day 1 Performance Total: 437.8  WoD Day 36 Performance Total 497.8  

                                    % change of 13.7

 How would I rate the overall experience, and outcome? 

It’s hard to say.  The final workout I don’t think was indicative of what I could have done if 100% healthy.  To some degree perhaps it was the best thing for me, because in the end I realize the whole point of the challenge is to get people to buy in, and I have somewhat bought in, but I don’t think “strict” Paleo is for me.

Can a brother get a little soy?

We are talking about long term sustainability when it comes to fitness and nutrition, so eating as strict as I did is just not going to happen for the next 40 years of my life (almost no starch, no nuts, no fruit).  Having said that I also think that the way the diet is explained, and portrayed by PCF as being idiot proof is one that should be clarified, I think if you aren’t struggling with weight it’s easy to follow the plan.  Eat when your hungry, and don’t eat when your not.

If you have battled your weight your entire life this is not as easy as putting on your pants.  You just don’t trust yourself with food, how insane is that; you don’t trust yourself with one of the key functions of survival.

I struggled quite a bit, and had to ask Shady if I should eat at certain times because I was obsessing over the caloric intake, and I wasn’t hungry.  Other times I felt like I ate too much, but was still hungry and would debate whether or not to eat.

In the end I had a nutritional consultation with Amy Kublar who is one of Robb Wolf’s nutritional consultants.  She read my food log, and said that I was eating too much protein.  Apparently your body can only digest so much protein at any given time, and then the excess becomes waste. 

She sent me the following:

Protein isn’t particularly dangerous, but an over-consumption of protein may be associated with:

1.                               Weight gain. Excess calories from excess protein may be stored as body fat.

2.                               Intestinal irritation. Too much protein has been linked to constipation, diarrhea and/or excessive gas.

3.                               Dehydration. Experts advise drinking a half gallon of water per 100 grams of protein.

4.                               Seizures. Seizures have been linked to excess protein intake – but only if insufficient amounts of water are consumed.

5.                               Increase in liver enzymes.

6.                               Nutritional deficiencies. Just focusing on protein intake causes some high-protein dieters to overlook other nutrients. Ensure that your diet is balanced and nutritious.

She also gave me a simple template with the Paleo Diet for weight loss.  This is the template on their website.  My plan is similar but with a few tweaks based on activity level.

 Sample Meal Plan

Sample Meal Plan: Weight Loss

Breakfast:

Shrimp scramble with basil and steamed spinach. ¼ cup blueberries. Espresso.

Lunch:

Chicken salad with red onions, romaine lettuce, artichoke hearts and mixed bell peppers. Dressing: Lemon/Olive Oil with a hint of garlic. Green tea with lemon.

Snack:

Grilled shrimp & veggies with a hand full of macadameias.

Dinner:

Baked pork loin with ginger cabbage and olive oil. Desert: shaved almonds over 1/4 cup mixed berries.

In the end my discussion with Amy made me feel a little better about how to make this a lifestyle choice.  I’ve bought into the science on how to control your insulin, but I also think that the process of gaining and losing weight is something no one has figured out to a precise science if that were the case there would be one way of doing it for everyone. 

There are too many systems that are involved within your body that cause changes to your cells, what I do think is necessary is controlling your insulin, watching your caloric intake to make sure it’s not excessive, and also so it doesn’t fall so low that you are starving, and making sure that you are active to promote a better state of well being.  The good nutrition I believe goes hand in hand with activity level; there is a symbiotic relationship between the two.  The human body was clearly designed to do work, and build muscle if it wasn’t I think the more you stressed your muscles the more they would like bruises or tumors. 

I am going to utilize the suggested changes that Amy made, and continue to do CrossFit, but it won’t be the only thing I do.  If I only focus on CrossFit then all I’m doing is getting better at CrossFit, I think it’s a tool for an end goal.

I will most likely buy some sessions, or pay for a membership at LA Boxing, or the MMA school in Arlington because I like that shit  I will probably cancel my membership at Washington Sports Club because I don’t use it, and I fucking hate cardio machines.  I may also buy a Concept 2 rower for my house. 

There are just some of those days where I feel the need to burn the shit out of my body through an extended period of work.  When the weather gets warmer I will probably start doing some trail running, and hiking.  I bought a weighted vest that I plan to use when I walk my dog, because my calf muscles are looking thin, and that’s not good for going uphill.

All in all my experience was a 6-7 on a 10 scale.  I think its better that my performance ended up in the middle of the pack, because it’s motivating me to work harder, get smarter, but also to look at the bigger picture and not just within the walls of CrossFit. 

A quick note on my weekend Shotgun rider, she won the competition.  She actually smoked the shit out of everyone.  The way the scoring is set up, it favors someone who can stay in the top tier for both workouts.  She finished 4^th in the initial WoD for the women, and then was able to follow that up with a 10^th place finish in the % change.  The third category which was the photos was subjective, and all done by Brian.  She was able to finish in the top tier here as well, she did what was really hard, stay in the top 10 for all three categories, which is why she won by a wide margin.  Nice Job Catelyn. 

01/28/2012 Captial Throwdown & Hello "Murph"

01/28/2012

BATTLE FOR THE CAPITAL

You can read here the WoDs that the athletes performed.

Going to Crossfit competitions is an interesting endeavor, especially when people from your box are competing.  What’s humbling is watching people who provide you with fitness inspiration, and who capture your physical imagination, struggle.  When I mean imagination, you admire these people like a kid would admires a sports athlete, you see yourself capable of doing some of the amazing things that they do, like snatch 215 lbs. 

For me, one whose mobility not too long ago was limited (or nonexistent), I find myself planting seeds of growth in my subconscious, those seeds aspiring to do a fraction of what people like Andrew Z, & Brian M do as a matter of fact.  Yes, they are part freak of nature, yet their abilities all stem from a mindset and an attitude.  In "Talent is Overrated", Geoff Colvin writes about how one of the major differences between average performers and great ones is their willingness to improve and through deliberate practice work on those areas which are weakest.  This desire comes from the mindset mentioned earlier. 

In that light trying to evolve myself over time to work at a similar level of performance isn’t so daunting, it’s just a matter of how long I can maintain the attitude and the amount of time required to achieve that level of performance, and according to Malcolm Gladwell 10,000 hours of work.

Jenn N. is another person whose effort and dedication is impressive, after her performance the night before of doing 3 WoDs, she was at the 10:30 AM class at Patriot to do “Murph”, which is a 30-45 minute suck fest.  I am still trying to recover from my single attempt at “Murph” this morning, and she finished yesterday under 40 minutes, I don't care who you are, even if you don't know anything about Crossfit you would understand how much of an impressive feat that is, and it's probably just par for the course for her.

So enough of my bullshit, here is the video from last night…

Lesson in persistence from Andrew Z.

 

 

Yes he literally falls on his, and picks himself up to do it again.

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 WoD - "Murph" Yeah it sucked.

"Murph"

For time:
1 mile Run
100 Pull-ups
200 Push-ups
300 Squats
1 mile Run

In memory of Navy Lieutenant Michael Murphy, 29, of Patchogue, N.Y., who was killed in Afghanistan June 28th, 2005.

This workout was one of Mike's favorites and he'd named it "Body Armor". From here on it will be referred to as "Murph" in honor of the focused warrior and great American who wanted nothing more in life than to serve this great country and the beautiful people who make it what it is.

Partition the pull-ups, push-ups, and squats as needed. Start and finish with a mile run. If you've got a twenty pound vest or body armor, wear it.

So that's how my Saturday morning started.  The night before I spent a great deal of time thinking about how to handle this workout, first it involves running which I hate, then it involves pull-ups which I am awful at, and then it has push-ups which I am barely capable of doing, then it has 300 squats to make the running oh so much more fun.

I had to use resistance bands for the pull-ups, a black and green one, and did a large portion of the push-ups from my knees.  I long for the day when I don't need assistance in these movements.

During the first mile, it was hard not to run faster, my legs felt tired, and I was getting salty as I watched all the other guys run way ahead of me…remnants of being the fat kid in school and always being last during PE.  I told myself that this is a long WoD and that I should push myself harder during the middle parts.

When I got back into the gym, I realized that I had finished the mile in 8:05, which was faster than I anticipated, when I was running I would have sworn to you it was a 10 minute pace.

I started by trying to break up the work by rounds, 10 pull-ups, 20 push-ups, and 30 squats.  After the 2nd round, I realized it would take forever, so I started adding 80-100 squats each round.  I then also added a few pull-ups per round, by the 5th round I had finished all of my pull-ups and air squats.  Leaving 40 push-ups to finish the workout, alternating between form the knees and regular, doing the last 20 all from my knees because my chest could no longer take it.

I was the last one out of the gym, and started my second mile as the next class started to gather for their warm-up.  I asked Dan to keep the clock running because I was going to finish this bitch.  When I stepped out the door of the Patriot, the clock was at somewhere between 37-38 minutes.  The run sucked. 

I again started last, and found myself wheezing during the first 400 meters, somewhere between the turnaround point, and the start of the uphill, my breathing became regulated, and the run wasn’t so bad.  There was one other person in front of me, a woman who I’ve seen before but haven’t really met.  She had set out to do the entire thing as well, she had at least 100 meters on me, and my desire to not be last is what kept the pace faster. 

So I have to thank her, whoever she is, I eventually caught her as she had reached the point of walking and then running, so when I passed her I said “Let’s go, keep a steady pace”, and I tried to repay the favor by being the rabbit now.

When I turned the corner for the last 15-20 meters I tried to sprint, but it was more like an actual run.  I ran into the gym, and looked at the clock, 46:15.  I believe the my exact words as I walked across the floor was “Fuck me!”

Paleo Meals Day 22

 

01/23/2012 Paleo Challenge Days 15 & 16, Monday Morning Weight In

 

Official Monday Morning Weigh In

265 lbs

 

Saturday

Satruday day 15 of the Paleo Challenge was  a rest day, and apparently it was a good thing, the WoD was a 10 round hero WoD with all the fun stuff like Handstand Push-ups, pull-ups, and double unders, all things I suck at, and deadlifts which I am ok with, there was a part of me that wanted to go to do it because all of the above are areas I know I need to work on, but in an effort to stay true to Shady’s challenge to stay Paleo  and Crossfit’s 3 on 1 off methodology I took the day off.

This month has been tough on my business; this time of year we are printing money, money that we use to sustain operations throughout the entire year.  Unfortunately in 2012 the weather is not cooperating and it feels more like September weather than January.  I’ve been attempting to not stress about the financial situation but when you look at your checking account both business and personal, and all you see are things that make you sad, it's hard not to want to kill.

I’ve found myself trying to just stay busy, focusing on future projects, seraching of better staff and looking to improve how I handle my physical goals for the year, I really want to find a trainer or someone that I can hit mitts with a couple of times a month.  As much as I enjoy Crossfit, I miss longer duration work, or effort.  I have no idea how the body responds to various stimuli; yet the endorphin release that occurs after prolonged exertion is different than what I’m getting now. 

It’s hard to describe but I’m sure it’s akin to runners high, I remember the first time I felt this while climbing my first 14’er as a teenager, and I told myself this is a feeling I want to experience the rest of my life.  Perhaps not having this for so many years is the reason that I fell deeper and deeper into a fat abyss. 

When I was working with Ali a few months back, I would get this feeling when he would crush me with boxing at the end of a workout.  As much as I like finding my dark place, I like reaching this physical climax because that's what it feels like...climax.

I also think hitting the shit out of some gloves would help release some tension, thus reducing the cortisol in my body and helping my fat ass trim down faster. 

Sunday

When I WoD on Sunday’s I normally go to the even classes because of work, but I woke up to more shitty weather so it was an easy decision to go to the 9 AM session at Patriot.  Low and behold who do I see but none other than Ryan Powell, I heard he was a coach, but to see him in the flesh was an incredulous moment, kind of like being shown the location of Jimmy Hoffa’s body (which I will nethier confirm nor deny).

It turns out that this relatively angry guy is a descent coach.   I got there early and he was able to explain to me how to use the damper on the C2 Rower.  In setting the damper you have to treat it like gears on a bicycle, while at the same time taking into account ones height.  Ryan suggested that I should keep it set at 5-6 for longer rows, and 10 for shorter ones.  Much of how the machine functions is based on your ability to keep the flywheel moving, so the idea of efficiency is about using your energy to keep it moving, I think if I imagine myself actually on a boat the idea is to keep the boat gliding across the water as opposed to pull, glide, slow down, then pull, glide a little, slow down. 

The day’s work involved doing snatch balances.  We were instructed to do 5 sets of 3.  I was able to 4 sets of 3 at 145 lbs, and 1 set of 3 at 155 lbs.  This is video of my last snatch balance.

 

After the Snatch Balances we had to do Helen, but there was a choice of doing a 400 meter row, 400 meter run, or 120 double unders.  I decided I would run because it’s the true to form version of Helen, and because I suck at running, so every time we have a chance to run I should do it. 

Helen involves 3 rounds for time of a 400 meter run, 21 kettlebell swings with a 53 lbs kettlebell and 12 pull-ups.  I was able to finish in 11:55.  My pull-ups need lots of work, as does my running. 

It is hard as shit to run after doing kettlebell swings, especially during the third round, as I turned the corner for the final 50-60 meters I was trying to dig deep to spring it home, and the more I pushed the more my legs felt like they were going in slow motion. 

 Meals Day 15 and 16 

I only kept partial logs on Saturday and Sunday.  Saturday I got a case of indigestion that wouldn’t go away, in fact I had it when I went to bed.  I woke up 3 times that night to just get up and walk around.  I don’t know if it was the breakfast, or the chili I made, but something had me backed up. 

Sunday I had a snack before the WoD, then a descent size brunch afterwards, and then I wasn’t hungry for the rest of the day.  For dinner I had my Power Supply meal, without anything extra, and even the Power Supply portion felt large.  Normally the dinners they pack seem like a snack.  I trust myself so little with food, I texted Ryan to ask him if I should intentionally eat to make sure I have enough in terms of calories, he told me not to force the issue so I didn’t.

Weight

So my weight has fluctuated in the last week from 266 lbs down to 262 lbs, then this morning 265 lbs.  I know the primary point of this challenge is not weight loss, but I would like to see the numbers move more, when I started I said I would be happy with 10 lbs loss, now my expectations have increased and I would like to get down to the 250’s.  I’m eating strict, and have not cheated once. 

We shall see how things go during week 3.

 

01/15/2012 Paleo Challenge Day 9

Monday Morning Weigh In

263 lbs

I don’t often retread a post from the same day, but this one for me was an epiphany that will change how view my nutrition, let me also pre-emp shady wih an “EAT ME” right now.

 

Day 9 Sunday

Today is one of the first days I had any lapse in energy, to the point at lunch time I was wondering if I could get it together in time for the WoD.  I realize that the idea of sleep, and the constant hammering of 8 hours of sleep while eating a Paleo Diet is a result of the lack of sugar in ones diet. 

I've lived for years on 5 and 6 hours of sleep, which is easy to do when you are living your life one sugar high to the next, couple that with my rampant use of "fat burner" pills which amounted to either ephedrine or caffeine laced nastiness.  I am not a person who likes to nap, because I feel like it's a waste of time during the middle of the day, yet there are just those days when nothing is better than a power nap.

Last night was the first night I went to bed after midnight, and woke up at 6 AM for work.  Getting up I felt like shit from just being tired, I think I spent 30 minutes in bed staring at the clock, and my dog who was anxious to pee.  I eventually got the mojo to get up and move, but my brain wasn't on a high functional level.  In fact when I got to the wash I spent an hour fucking around on facebook, and finding ways to talk shit on the PCF websites which is hard to do when no one posts.

After having lunch, one of my employees asked me if I had been drinking, or if I was tired.  I felt tired but not to the point where I would do something about it, perhaps I was in that pre-vegetative haze that happens with a lack of sleep, or it was just a complete lack of awareness of my body.  I finally made a decision around 3 pm that if I was going to WoD I would have to get some sleep, so I went to my car and took a 30 minute nap. 

That nap was like sex, when I woke up I first felt like I had lost my shorts, then as I woke up felt recharged and ready for a second round, isn't that what supposed to happen?

So note to self when going Paleo and eliminating sugar rushes from your life get enough sleep, because your chemical crutch is no longer available.  Sleep was apparently good for the Neanderthal; it's also good for 33 year olds who just turned 5, yeah one more year I might qualify for kindergarten.

WoD

Sundays WoD was 5 sets of 1 doing heavy snatch balances, and a modified version of Annie.  Everything was the same for Annie with the addition of 75 Russian Kettle bell Swings. 

I worked on the snatch balance, with the intent of going heavier than I did last Tuesday but my body was extremely tight from Saturdays WoD.  Air squats don’t seem like much, but doing 150 of them as fast you can apparently leaves your big ass sore.  I spent a good portion of the warm-up stretching my groin, and hips, basically holding a deep squat position.

I was able to do two sets at 145 lbs, 3 sets at 155 lbs, but when I attempted 165 lbs 3 times, I failed each time.  The first time I didn’t get under the bar and did a very slow overhead squat.  My other two attempts were fast, but I just couldn’t stick it at the bottom, and had to dump the bar.

Video from my 155 lbs attempt.

 

With the Metcon I did all of the 75 kettle bell swings with the 70 lbs kettle bell, I was able to keep them connected.  The first round of jumping rope didn’t go so well, my ass was so tight from the swings that I just couldn’t get a rythmn.  I did all of my jump rope doing the running man, but doing double the reps. 

A significant improvement was made with my sit ups, I was able to all of the sit-ups without assistance.  The last time we did Annie half way through the sit-ups I had to give a slight pull on my shorts to get past the crux of the sit-up, this time I did all of them without a cheat.  I also spent two of the rounds trying to complete more than 30 sit-ups in a minute.  I’m going to try and work until I get to the point of being able to do 35+ sit-ups in a minute. 

 

I was happy with I performed.  I wish I would have stuck the 165 lbs snatch balance.  I keep saying I’m going to buy Olympic lifting shoes but forget, I need to do that tomorrow because I think it will make a significant difference in increasing my ability to achieve a solid base on the Olympic lifts.

Day Meals Here.

BTW This is for Shady, McShady.

 

 

 

 

 

01/08/2012 Paleo Challenge Day 3

01/09/2012 Day 3 Paleo Challenge

Monday Morning Weigh In --- 269 lbs

I started off my morning feeling significantly better than yesterday, although still a bit sluggish.  Slim Shady gave me some advice yesterday and told me that I should try and snack less, and increase what I eat at meal times.  I am planning on doing this but I’m still trying to make sure I get 200 grams of protein, and the elimination of protein shakes leaves me eating Chicken, Turkey, and Eggs.  I have to space these a bit, because eating 4-6 eggs during the day can get difficult, because the yolks are hard to put down.  It may just come down to at some point adding egg whites to everything I eat.

I am starting taking Vitamin D, and Fish Oil Today, 3 pills of Vitamin D at breakfast, and 3 each of Fish Oil at each meal.  I also order a digestive support supplement and herbal stress pill recommended by some angry white person.  I am hoping these items help to overcome some of the issues with sugar, and my dependence on the white mans crack.

I am still thoroughly angry about learning this week that one of my tools in my arsenal was probably at the heart of my inability to lose weight over the last 5 months.  How could I lose weight when every chance I got I was drinking water laced with sugar, in hindsight I realized that I didn’t start using the Nuun Natural Hydration tablets at the Biggest Loser Resort until the end of the second week, which is also the last week I lost weight at the resort.

The third week at the Ranch I really pushed the shit out of my workouts, and had some off the best output during my time there, yet I lost no weight.  The only thing that changed was my reliance on Nuun Natural Hydration tablets. 

I could be making a false connection here, but it would explain my issues since last summer, I don’t think I’ll truly know until after the Paleo Challenge and I reintroduce small amounts of fruits and nuts.

In weighing myself this morning I’ve returned to the weight that I was December 12^th 2011, so today for me is the true starting line.  

Today was a rest day, so no workout.  In terms of my eating you can read my food log here…day 3 of the Paleo diet went significantly better than the previous two days, I feel like I’ve hit my Paleo Stride.  This is good considering how early in the challenge we are, I have to just be consistent here from on out.  I’m sure there are hurdles I will need to cross which I haven’t anticipated, but my confidence in my ability to pursue this methodology without compromise is extremely high. 

After a series of obnoxious questions to the coaches, and in particular Brian I know what I can’t eat, and what I have to eat, so this part is easy.  The only pitfall I foresee is making sure I get enough sleep, because when I become sleep deprived I start shoving shit into my mouth without regard for what I’m eating, or where it came from. 

Phone Call from Brian

I got an e-mail today form Brian right before lunch, about wanting to talk.  I replied to him "Am I going to be admonished for my trash talking?"  His e-mail to me about a phone call had me conjuring images of being sent to the principal’s office for spitting spit balls in to the hair of the girls who sat in front of me.   I of course could not have thought of any other reason he would want to contact me than someone in the Paleo Challenge getting tired of my incessant posting about my guaranteed victory.

Brian called me a few minutes after twelve to find out how I was doing, being the subtle guy he is, he just wanted to make sure I wasn’t taking this too seriously.  I think one of the coaches read my blog, and thought I might be taking this too seriously and that if I don’t win then I might do something rash, like eating Twinkies until I die from a diabetic coma.

When he told me this I started laughing my ass off, I haven’t laughed this hard in quite some time.  It was clear that this phone call was a CYA moment; you have to love those Marines chagrining hard, and making sure to cover your ass.  I joked that I could see the headline, man loses Body Transformation Competition, and hangs himself with pig intestines, and family sues Gym for 1 Trillion Dollars.

So to put it on the record so that PCF and B. Wilson never see a 1 Trillion Dollar lawsuit, I obsolve the PCF, and it’s community of coaches, and owners from any action that I may cause to myself as a result of the Paleo Challenge.  That’s my fuck you to any ambulance chasers. 

There is no reason to worry about what might happen if I lose the Paleo Challenge, first I won’t lose so it’s sort of like talking about what happens if Aliens Land on Clarendon Blvd. it’s a waste of time discussing, and second I’M ANGRY ASIAN, not DEPRESSED ASIAN, so if I were to lose and go over the deep end I would probably just go to a public area and mow people down with a “hunting rifle” which looks an AK-47, thanks NRA.

Post Paleo Challenge Meltdown

My New Best

I bought myself a food steamer; this is such a great tool.  I plan on getting a dehydrator to make my own jerky, and a deep fryer to fry shit, because apparently if you fry food in Paleo Friendly oil without shit on it, it's Paleo, thanks cavemen.

 

 Paleo Challenge Advice for Redmeat From Alton Brown

The first time I did this to some grassfed beef it made it taste oh so much better.

 

Retail Beef Cuts

 

01/07/2012 Paleo Challenge Kick-Off & Fucking Plateau from Hell, Official Weigh In

Paleo Challenge Kick-Off Today

Today marks the first day of the PCF Paleo Challenge.  At 1 pm today will be the first workout, which involves three separate workouts.  These are going to be the baseline for our performance index.  You can read more about the challenge from a previous days post.

As I am recovering from bathing in soy sauce naked last night, I started to think about all the shit I will have cut out.  I haven’t eaten much in terms of rice or noodles since last march, but as an Asian person those things are innately chinky, much of Korean cuisine tastes exponentially better with rice.  I have to further cut out legumes, which means no soy which means no soy sauce…mutha fuckas trying to see someone commit a homicide.   I don't know what's more disturbing the idea of my large body in soy sauce or when you google search "soy sauce bath" that pictures of asian babies being bathed appear.

Angry Asian Guy in Full Effect Bitches!

So after my soy sauce enriched bath, I found myself thinking about what additional changes I have to make to my diet over the next 30 days.  Chesley a fellow 6 am PCF’er posted on my blog about her Paleo Challenge last year and how she lost 25 lbs, which on her frame would be like me losing 100 lbs.  One of things she did in going strict Paleo was cut out fruit.  Now fruit is not a bad thing but the fruit we eat today has been engineered to be sweeter and has a higher sugar content then those fruits found by our Paleolithic Ancestors.   

In order to truly push the fat loss threshold I think I am going to eliminate fruit for one month, because I am diabetic, and my goal is to lose fat, so anything to keep my insulin working in harmony with these goals is probably a good thing.  

The one thing that is causing me the most trouble is trying to find a replacement to my morning pre-workout snack.  After reading the following Clarence Bass article I decided I wanted to eat before a workout.  At 5 AM in the morning I have a hard time eating regular food before I go to workout, so I have been eating balance bars.  Trying to find a Paleo friendly bar is not easy.

In the interim I will eat the couple of Quest bars I have left which are far cleaner than most, but contain a small amount of dairy.  I was told by Liz that Larabars are good and paleo friendly, but should be limited because they have a high sugar content.  Fuck me…this is going to be tougher than I thought.

My only concern is that not knowing the calorie content of my Catalyst Meals is going to make it difficult for me to make sure I eat enough.  The idea that I should eat when I’m hungry is insane, I’m a dysfunctional person when it comes to food, so if you tell me to eat when I’m hungry I might just eat your foot as you’re talking to me.

So begins 30 days of pursuing my nutrition like my workouts.  One additional note, I have to replace all the great tasting things in the world for fucking coconuts, so I’m ordering Coconut Butter, and Coconut Oil, which is fucking insane because for the most part I hate fucking coconuts, fucking coconuts.  If I had to eliminate pork as well I’m sure that I would have kill someone by the end of week 1.

Fucking Plateau from Hell

Official Weigh In 01/07/2012

274 lbs

31.2 % Body Fat

I’m beginning to think this machine is a piece of shit.  The last time I weighed myself was December 20^th 2011, where I weighed 269 lbs, and a body fat of 29.9%.  By this math I have apparently gained 5 lbs of straight fat. 

269 * 29.9% = 80.43 lbs of fat

274 * 31.2% = 85.48 lbs of fat

A difference of 5.05 lbs, which means I’ve gained 5.05 of straight fat.

I can’t tell you how frustrated I am.  I’ve written about it on numerous previous occasions, but it’s reaching the point where I am starting to feel that I’ve been given a life sentence at this weight.  No matter what I do it doesn’t move the scale.  My pants aren’t fitting any better, and I’m not improving my mental state of mind because I feel like I’ve been in a fucking pit of hell that I can’t climb out of, this is about as bad as I have felt in quite sometime.

There’s a phrase that I use when people e-mail me about how I lost the weight that I have, and when people make plans to go to the same fat camp I do, they often ask for advice.  I tell them that incremental progress over a period of time equals substantial results.  I haven’t made a single iota of progress to towards the goal in 6 months, and I want to take my head and bang it into a wall, or commit hari kari. 

The Paleo Challenge I think is hitting me at the right time, and I’m going full board without reservation, if at the end I don’t make progress I’m probably going to strap a bomb to my stomach and just enter into a weight watchers meeting and put all of those sad sacks out of their misery, because if my effort can’t make this shit work, getting together in a meeting is truly hopeless.

01/06/2012 Workout Recap

The WoD involved doing 10 minutes of death by Hand Stand Push Up but being a sumo wrestler with the arms of a ballerina I did the seated dumbbell press.  I started with 50 lbs dumbbells and was able to get to 5 rounds with these and finished with the 45 lbs dumbbells.

The metcon today involved doing 5 rounds for time of 5 dead lifts at 275 lbs, and 10 burpees.  I hate burpees.  Any movement that causes me to have to move my own body weight is hell.  I did the dead lifts at 225 lbs.  We haven’t done much work on dead lifts over the last month, so I’m sure I could have done this WoD at the 275 lbs but we were told to shoot for a 5 minute time, so I went with the 225 lbs. 

As you watch the video my one bit of pride, is that I’m starting to learn how to burpee efficiently.  The first round of work I finished in about 40 seconds and when I got up and looked at the clock a part of me went, what the fuck just happened? 

After watching a bunch of the coaches over the last couple of months, I’ve realized that first you have to commit to the movement and just drop to the ground using your arms to prevent you from smacking your face on the ground, which I don’t need, my face is flat enough already.  Then once in the down position you have to really work to keep your feet wide and just jump straight up.  Previously I was doing what I think are called squat thrusters, where you get into a squat position each time then kick your legs back, and do the reverse on the way up. 

I finished the WoD in 4:44, and felt good about my time. 

 

01/01/2012 A New Year Resolution

1. Bringing in the New Year

I would like to start this post off by wishing everyone a prosperous New Year, and that 2012 is a fantastic year for everyone who reads my blog, all those who don’t can sink a whole because the sun revolves around me. 

In my preparation to write this post, I thought deeply about my New Years Resolutions, and the actual definition of the term. 

According to dictionary.com there are more than 12 definitions of the world resolution, but I have picked the most pertinent to my blog post, in fact I think if you could create a single definition then it would encompass all of these:

Noun

2. a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something.

3. the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.

4. the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose.

6. the resulting state.

8. a solution, accommodation, or settling of a problem, controversy, etc.

For purposes of this blog post; Resolution means the act of determining upon a course of action, built on a firmness of purpose to achieve a resulting state which solves a problem. 

We make these Resolutions every year, and most of the time we forget about them before the New Year even gets out of the gate, by February you have given yourself a pass, and no longer do you have a “firmness of purpose”, if anything you are so far from your purpose that it’s easier just to give up.

I find myself not wanting to enter in a pact with myself which will ultimately result in disappointment or failure, yet I think in creating a better more thorough existence in my life I want to make the following resolutions, or perhaps I should say that they are my 2012 goals for myself.

 

I. Personal

    A.Phsyical            

1. I will lose 70 lbs by the end of the year, or fit into a size 32 pant size.  
2. During Fight Gone Bad 7 I will break 300 (253 Sept)as my score. 
3. I will complete a 5k.
4. I will complete a Wilderness or Mountaineering Course.
5. I will break 900 in my Crossfit Total (775 in November)

    B. Spiritual

1. I will take at least 4 trips this year, which are unrelated to business.
2. I will take at least a week off during the year.
3. I will work on being more patient with others, and keeping my calm, even when they are dumb fucking idiots, are making me want to choke them to death.
4. I will start writing once every couple of weeks the story of my parent’s immigration to the US.
5. I will be more generous to people with my spirit.

II. Professional

1. I will begin to have a 5 day work week.
2. I will achieve a financial reserve of at least 3 months of operating income.
3. I will hire a book keeper.
4. I will hire better staff, and make the financial commitment in my people, including sending 3 people to Sonny’s Car Wash College, and provide at least 2 training seminars throughout the year open to all staff, so I don’t have to work as hard. 
5. I will delegate more to my staff, and give them the freedom to accomplish what I ask in their way.

III. Growth

1. I will take at least two classes in a topic that are for my enjoyment like a basic knife skills class at Sur La Table.
2. I will read 12 books this year. 
3. I will watch less TV, limiting my weekly viewing.
4. I will make connections with people in other businesses to try and discover what it is that will give me purpose in life.
5. I will work to un-clutter my life by either donating, or selling anything that I no longer use, or don’t foresee using. 

I don’t think my resolutions or goals, are unattainable, I think 5 specific things in four areas of my life over the course of year is not a difficult task.  It will not be easy, especially those matters which involve my business.  I am going to have to learn to cope with my stress in other ways than numbing through workouts, food, or TV.

Let 2012 be the year I am the finally the man that I’ve always wanted to be, or at least a less angry version of who I am today.

I have one last major resolution, to Whip the Ever Living Crap out of Antwone Walters in the Paleo Challenge #bringitbitch2012