fattestblog.com

The Plan To the Promise Land

 

My Attempt at a sustainable weight loss plan, as time passes I am realizing that I am a person of extremes.  It’s either 100% commitment or nothing at all, it’s working at 100 mph or developing a brain tumor by endless hours of television consumption, or it’ adhering to my diet with the fervor of an evangelical prophet, or dismissing my attempt to lose weight as a foolish dream.

 

To help accelerate and motivate my weight loss I started this blog.  Today I realize that at the age of 30 I have to have a more realistic plan that is progressive and sustainable over a long period of time.  I am going to continue to use medifast and Bistro MD together. 

 

I am going to utilize 5 simple rules:

              I.      Stick to five meals a day that are 100% diet driven either through medifast or Bistro MD, and use 1 Meal each third day as a reward.

           II.      I will work out 3 days a week at a minimum of 30 minutes per session.

         III.      I will consume my last meal of the day at the latest 6:30 PM.

        IV.      I will weigh myself daily.

           V.      I will read my weight loss goals every morning as part of morning routine. 

 

I am hoping the simplification of this process will be the key to maintaining any progress that I am able to make on the downsizing of my “BELLY”. 

Return of the Big Fat Guy

Well after a long hiatus from the blog, because of 13 hour work days, and food consumption that was out of control I’m back on my second day of my Medifast Diet.  The last two months have not been easy, and have been very trying on my self-confidence. 

I now get what the life “guru’s” talk about when they say that you have to read your goals everyday, if they are not consistently being brought into your consciousness they fade like a distant memory of a good friend.  Trying to find balance between work and my personal life last month was just not feasible.  With the “weight” of millions of dollars in bank notes on my shoulders I’m compelled to move forward regardless of my health.  It’s almost ironic that I found the motivation for weight loss in my work. 

 

Last month I was a speaker at a regional industry trade show, this obligation forced me to attend an otherwise unnecessary event, and it is at this trade show that I saw a friend speak who reinforced an idea already being bounced around in my internal monologue.  As small business owners our business health is a direct reflection of our personal health.  It sounds absurd but if you think about how essential the success or failure of a small business is linked to the actions of the owners, then you realize that if the owner is not running at 100% then the business can not run at 100%.  Would you be able to maximize the throttle on your cars engine if there was significant carbon build up on the engine?

 

I feel weighted down constantly, both mentally and physically.  My business operates like a fat person, sometimes we run great without any hitches, but the next day we go to shit and operate in the excess.  Cutting costs and maximizing efficiency is like losing weight, and exercising.  I have taken to heart that any type of balance in my life can’t be achieved without the weight loss that I’m pursuing.

 

Because of the past two months set back I am changing the dates of my goals. 

 

September 30 2010

175 lbs

The Price of Being Obese at 30

Oh Joyous Pharmaceutical Industry I love you!

10 years ago I was 20 years old weighed 180 lbs and was on all of ZERO medications.

Today I'm 30 years old weigh 340 lbs and as of Sept. 4 2009 I'm taking FIVE medications.  Her's the joyous list as of today:

Glipzide 10 mg 3 x a day for Diabetes

Micardis 40 mg 1x a day for Hypertension Normally, but diabetics are supposed to take hypertension medication to guard against liver and kidney failure.

Phentermine 37.5 MG 1x a day To help control appetite, started taking recently to help with the diet cravings

Vitamin D 1.25 MG 1x a week Softgel as of my last blood test I have a Vitamin D deficiency. 

Ciprofloxacin HCL 500 MG 2 x a day for 7 days

I haven't posted for the past few days because I've been deathly ill with a stomach infection.  The infection may not be a direct result from my obesity but it's an indirect cause.  Since my weight gain I am far more likely to get ill with viruses, and infections.  I'm like a duck on a pond for all the nasty's of the microscopic realm. 

Even with insurance the cost out right sucks.  My 80 year grandmother, my 70 year old father, and my 65 year old mother all have similar lists of medications.  I'm experiencing what senior citizens experience with making choices between drugs and eating out. 

What makes it more laughable I soon maybe adding Xanax to my list of drugs, oh how I love being obese. 

Racisim, Obesity, and Project Implicit

I recently found an article on cnn.com about subconscious racism, and how often people's reactions towards a socially awkward situation often contradicts what they believe.  Essentially we are willing to tolerate racism more willingly than we realize. 

The article can be found at CLICK HERE .

One of the key researchers that this article sources is Anthony Greenwald and Project Implicit.  The website has a series of IAT's (implicit association test) that includes one about weight.

Project Implicit can be found at CLICK HERE. 

I took the test and I actually have a preference for skinny people over fat people.  This is nothing new to me, but I'm a self hating fat man.  I think that most people will find themselves with an affinity towards skinny people.  It's an interesting test to take, as you are not trying to solve a puzzle, or provide correct answers to specific questions, you are making associations based on your subconscious in fact the test is apparently more accurate the faster you take it because it allows for less thought time and is purely impulsive. 

I'm a fat man who doesn't like other fat people. 

Learning to Live, Key West I'll Miss You

I went on vacation this past week to Key West.

It was a fantastic time.  I haven't felt this relaxed since I was a freshman in college.  So I guess this what people mean by living life. 

I've been so wrapped up in working and "paying dues" the past decade that I've forgotten what it was to have a life.  In fact I don't recall actually ever really enjoying the moment as much I had this past week.  A real effort had to be made by me to just enjoy the sun, the beach, the ocean, the amazing Key West Sunset.  I was very tempted to run away and drive a taxi in Key West or work at one of the information center selling adventure trips, I really was considering my happiness over anything else.  Alas, I am back home and back at work.

The incredible thing was as much alcohol as I had down there I actually was able to maintain my pre-vacation weight of 336.  If it wasn't for the key lime pie, and eating late I'm actually sure I would have lost five pounds while on vacation.  I think it was the combination of no stress and the heat but I was never really hungry.  Not once did I have one of those binge needing dinners, or a sugar craving desire to eat a bunch of crap. 

The recent weight gain was over the course of two days since I've been back.  I haven't done anything too intense but the internal drive to satiate some unidentifiable hunger was back as soon as I was home.  I have to wonder how much was real physical hunger, and how much was knowing the impending stress build up.  The more I write this posting the more I wonder if it is possible to lose the amount of weight that I need to lose while living in a stressful environment. 

I do know that I am driven to lose weight, but it get's so much harder when I can't find much to look forward to on a daily basis.  It's so physically draining that I'm exhausted day in and day out.  There are many days when I have to take caffeine pills to get the energy burst to workout. 

The next few weeks I will be analyzing my life, where I am and how ended up here, because it's not were I'm supposed to be nor is it where I want to be, I need to redirect this ship.  I will continue to learn to live life even at home and try and find ways to find enjoyment in present situation, ultimately I will be handcuffed any options until I reach a healthy weight. 

I am setting a goal to reach 330 lbs by the end of this month.  This will hopefully provide a solid platform to get below 320 next month.  I've let two months pass without significant improvement.  It is necessary to truly push myself and move forward in my weight loss.  

I know that next summer when I'm Key West I'll be able to do with my shirt off, and knowing that people will think my girlfriend is my girlfriend, and not my younger sister or niece. 

Stress and Weight Gain

Recently I found out a piece of news that will dramatically alter my life for the next few years.  The demands on my time will become just short of insanity.  In fact I am feeling the anxiety from this news as I type this blog entry.  If it wasn't for the fat burner that I took an hour ago I would probably be compelled to eat something, actually eat a lot of something. 

Where does that come from why does it exist, and how come I have it?   

I read the following posting by Dr. Creagan an oncologist at the Mayo Clinic:

"...during particularly stressful times, you may eat in an attempt to fulfill emotional needs, which is sometimes called stress eating."  The rest of the article can be found at Mayo Clinic Click Me.

Why is it that I have the genetic make up to use food to "fulfill emotional needs"?  How twisted is my brain that I use food to pacify my feelings?

Dr. Creagan outlines a few steps or tips to avoid "stress eating" each one of them common sense and each one of them makes me angrier.  When I am in an anxious fit from stress I can't see five feet in front of me none the less take a second to ask myself why I'm eating.  I realize now that a large component of my weight gain six years ago was a result of stress.

I would get highly stressed order lots and lots of take-out, and then go to sleep or take a nap.  When I woke up I was either really tired or really calm.  It was like the anxious frenzy never happened.  How do I overcome this, because I don't want to gain anymore weight.  I need to lose weight so I can achieve some degree of personal happiness. 

Change in Plan, Eating With Other People, and Balancing Life

This month I'm going to try a few new tweaks to my diet plan.  The previous system of positive and negative points balance wasn't working out very well, as I wasn't sticking to the plan at the same time I found it difficult to balance my personal life with my need to lose weight.

My plan is to still stick to my meal plan, and continue to incorporate a consistent workout regime, furthermore I'm going to prolong my workouts on the days that I eat a regular meal.

I will workout 3-4x a week at a minimum of 30 minutes each session.  The 30 minutes will be on days that I stick to solely my meal plan.  On days that I have regular meals I'm going to workout for a minimum of 1 hour.  At my present weight an hour workout on an "efficient cardio" machine I can burn 950-1000 calories per hour.  At that rate I can compensate for any binging or overeating. 

I realize to some degree this is considered exercise bulimia, yet I think the difference is that I'm attempting to counteract poor dietary actions, rather than lose weight through over exertion.  The one unequivocal fact of weight loss calories in minus calories out determines whether or not you lose weight.  There is no other way to lose weight every single dietary method out there is an attempt to trick you into creating a calorie defficiency. 

I guess we will find out a month from now how effective this change is, and whether or not I am able to sustain it.   

July Not A Good Month for This Fat Guy

So After two months of losing weight the month of July proved to be too much for this fat guy.  I gained 10 lbs over the course of the month.  The most frustrating part is that I was able to maintain my weight for the most part over my dad's birthday vacation yet I couldn't get it back together when I got back.

So I begin this month really pissed off which I hope will motivate me to stay on the diet.  10 lbs is a lot of weight to gain.  I do have to say that what people say about goals is true, you have to read them everyday and continue to reinforce your drive to succeed.  There is just too much shit, and negative cacophony that distracts you from your goal.

I have to work to think more about my weight, and less about the eating moment.  I am dedicated to getting below 330 this month.  I've wasted enough time this month eating good foods, drinking, and not exercising.  I must recommit myself to succeed.  This is a fight for my life, it is the only important task that I should focus on, and I should not deter from my goal to be 175 lbs next year. 

Every restaurant that I want to go to will probably still be there next year, the funny thing is if I don't lose weight now there's the chance I won't be around to try them next year.   

My Alcoholic Downfall

I realize now that alcohol is one of the triggers that allows me to gain weight precipitously.  I've gained 10 pounds in the course of 8 days as a result of 2 drinking binges. 

I think it's a two fold problem, in that first the alcohol is packed with empty calories, and any mixer I may drink sky rockets my blood sugar.  At the same time the lowering of ones personal inhibitions makes life fun, but also makes it easier to gorge yourself on food.  Good food, bad food it's all the same when your drunk, and when you really get drunk you want something warm and greasy to coat your stomach. 

I found that if it was just he food eaten during a drinking binge it wouldn't be bad, studies have also shown that alcohol temporarily lowers your metabolic rate and inhibits your liver from metabolizing fat.  Which I have noticed that much of the weight gain occurs the next day.  It doesn't matter what I eat the next day it always ends up packing pounds to the scale. 

I need to make sure I keep my drinking to an absolute minimum and when I do I can't afford to drink more than once in a ten day period.  When drinking occurs twice in the same week there just isn't' enough time to recover from the temporary lapse, and what should be a temporary gain becomes a permanent one. 

Fed Ex Sucks Even More

So Fedex Finally delivered my food today...that's after attempting to deliver it twice and not leaving the call tags.  That's also not leaving the box when the box clearly has on the box instructions to deliver the box without a signature, that's also after the shipper specifically has placed on their account to always deliver the package regardless of whether the address has a person present at the time of delivery or not...

So when I open the box today of course it smells like feet...because the dry ice which was placed in the box on Monday they put enough to last through Friday.  So over the hot weekend here in DC in what I am sure was not a cooled warehouse the food grew to a nasty, fun rot...I am going to have to make due this week with extra meals that I've been piling up as result of of forgetting to eat or cheating. 

This did allow me today to try two new restaurant's.  I'm still bitter...I will be bitter...fat people are bitter...fuck you...my get makes it hard to sit up straight...my gut makes it hard to lie on my back because of the pressure...kiss my ass...i'm just now able to bend over and pick up something off the floor while seated...so again Fred Smith FUCK YOU and your incompetent contractors!!!