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12/01/2011 A little bit about me, and Inspiration is as Inspiration Does

Inspiration is as Inspiration Does

I wrote not too long about what motivates me, you can read that post here; most of those points were goals, or emotions that I have which drive me.  After a recent post on the PCF blog I wanted to post a few ideas, and thoughts that I use to keep pushing.

1. How you finish determines how you progress in the next workout…I find that the most important part of any workout is the end, those last few reps, or the last minute of any AMRAP, or the final round of work.  It’s in these moments you find out about yourself as a person, about your determination, and your desire to succeed.  It’s here you muster everything that you have to prove to yourself that you are capable, and striving for excellence.  It’s also scientifically shown that the reps completed at the point of failure are the ones which help you grow.
2. Incremental Progress over time, equals Significant Improvement…I’ve found that as time moves trying to add an additional 5 lbs here and there, or taking a part of a Metcon and doing it Rx is a step towards doing all of your workouts Rx.  Everything that is substantial was started with something significantly small, a powerful river stared somewhere as a snowflake, or drop of rain which flows down a mountain and over time becomes a river.
3. Your body is ready to the work, your mind has to be taught to endure…Our bodies are something amazing, that science doesn’t completely understand, with an innate ability to adapt and survive, we have also been blessed with reason which at times can prevent us from improving our physical state.  The natural aversion to pain, is a stumbling block to our growth.  I push this barrier as much as I can, the pain you feel is a temporary moment of stimulus, it’s your body sending receptors to the brain to say hey I don’t like this because it might hurt us, I routinely tell my body to go fuck itself.  The pride you feel, and sense of accomplishment you feel when fighting through these moments is all yours, no one can take it from you, and it something you did on your own.
4. Attitude is everything...Your mental state of mind is everything.  If you show up tired, and lazy your workout is going to be the same.   When you don’t feel right, and you need to show up, fucking fake it, but show up determined and ready to do what you need to do, an indomitable spirit is a vehicle that will always lead you to success.  Never accept defeat, and use your small setbacks as motivators to improve those areas, and then improve your ability to work. 
5. Be Honest with yourself…Don’t sugar coat shit, your work is what it is, if you don’t do it right it doesn’t count.  If you had a bad day admit it learn from it, and grow.  We live in a society today built on false promises, false premises, and inflated egos.  Check that shit, and be honest with yourself.  If you can’t accept where you are today you will never succeed.  Acceptance is the first step in changing everything; this is what can really get me frustrated.  I look at a period of time, and look at the results and at times get too hard on myself because I am so focused on the end result.  Being honest with yourself can help you actually enjoy the ride.
6. The difference between winners and losers is that Losers race to Win, while winners just love to race…What I take from this quote is that results are the end goal are important, but importantly is how you got there, did you get there giving everything that you had, did you achieve second place after a half assed attempt or by challenging yourself every single day.  If you focus on becoming better each day, and find joy in the race then you are a winner.  I would rather come in second 1000 times knowing I did everything that I could to win, than 1 time having cheated, or fucked someone over to win.

This is not the gospel according to Louis, but are ideas that help fuel my motivation, take it for what it is…

A little bit on me…

I write this next part for the benefit of my fellow Brothers and Sisters in arms at PCF.  Most of you reading this have provided great advice, and for a large chunk of the population it’s fantastic, yet I understand where I am coming from. 

I was born 16 lbs, and my bulbous melon today is the direct result of being a watermelon passing through a human birthing canal.  From all accounts of those who where around then, my mother barely survived the birth, being the end of the 70’s c-sections were not as common place as they are today.  There is actually a picture of my cousin who is about 6 months young than me, lying next to me, and it looks like a regular Asian baby next to an a genetically altered alien, a descendent of Remulak.

I spent most of my childhood over weight, food was love from my parents, and from my grandmother who lost much of her young adult life to the Korean War.  My grandmother used to wake me up while sleeping as a baby to feed me, because she was afraid I would die while sleeping.

By the time I reached the 6^th I weighed 180 lbs, by the time I reached high school I was tipping the scale at 280 lbs.  Fortunately, I spent most of my youth learning Tae Kwon Do, and then started to play Lacrosse in 7^th grade, so for an obese kid I was mobile.   

Between my Freshman and Sophomore year in high school I lost a 100 lbs, I basically didn’t feed myself and used my Nordic Track like it was a syringe full of heroine.  I lived to wake up and spend an hour on that fucking machine, and burn as many calories as could, then I would spend the rest of the day avoiding food, adults who were family friends found it uncomfortable to eat while I was at the table, because there would be times I would burst into tears because I wanted to eat so bad, but chose not to, it was a mental test for me, which I won every day. 

This is clearly not healthy relationship with food, and it’s not sustainable.  My ability to function became impaired, and I eventually had to quit playing lacrosse because I just didn’t have the energy to play.  I spent the next 10 years of my life at 175 lbs.  After college, I opened a small business which failed, I lost a 100,000 of investor money.  All of these investors were either family or close friends of the family.

I went into a deep depression, and gained 100 lbs in less than a year, and couldn’t put the brakes on until I was way over 400 lbs.  I don’t tell you these things to garner sympathy or pity, but you need to understand that when you spend a big portion of your life battling something that you have to do, then some of your advice is misguided. 

If it were a simple matter of smoking, or drinking, you can eliminate those things and avoid them.  You can’t avoid food.  You can choose not to associate with people who do the things that you are avoiding, everyone has to eat. Add to this that for most obese people the desire to overeat is not just an emotional one, the insatiable cravings caused by out of control insulin levels, and unstable hormones are real and visceral, so how do you solve a medical problem with will power?

I bring this point up because the idea that I should avoid a scale, and just eat intuitively is not feasible.  How can you eat intuitively when your intuition is skewed into the wrong direction, and you have no idea what, and how much you should eat.  Further the scale is not everything, but again I don’t want to be a fit 275 lbs, that’s not the body I want to carry it’s a personal decision, which I have to live with.  Body mass matters, because studies have shown people who weigh less live longer, and beyond that it would make feel better not because society tells me so, because I am uncomfortable in my own skin today because of all the excess shit I carry.  The scale is a tool to help me understand where my body is at any given time.

I also need to measure the quantities of what I eat, so I know what’s acceptable, it’s not something I want to do, nor do I enjoy doing, yet again it’s a necessary tool in my life so I can condition my mind and body to understand what is acceptable in order to attain the physique I want. 

If I don’t know, how do I learn?  I have to measure and figure out what a good portion is, otherwise I will keep overeating.  In the last week I’ve realized that I was eating in the wrong direction and not eating enough.  This is something that most non-overweight people just don’t get, because you all do eat intuitively.  I want to be like you, but I have to condition myself to understand how to get there…

At the end of the day I appreciate everyone’s input, and enjoy the comments, because it gives me things to think about, I just wanted you all to know where I am coming from. 

06/27/2011 Climbing out of the Abyss...

 

Gaining weight is something I am all too familiar with, it starts with a simple cycle of eat too much, feel bad, do something sedentary, and then eat some more, feel worse, then pass out. 

 For me what started as a method of self medication following the worst failure of my life, turned into a constant daze of feeling inadequate, being angry, choosing to stay complacent, and wallowing in the mired mud that had become my life.  My optimism dwindled slowly like a fluorescent bulb loosing its ability to illuminate.  The worse I felt the more I ate, and the more I found myself distancing relationships with friends, family, and colleagues.  It came to a point where I didn’t leave my house for almost 10 days, other than to buy KFC, Popeye’s, or meet the Chinese Food delivery driver. 

I started smoking and smoking in my house.  I was smoking a pack a day, if I could have gotten off of my ass long enough I would have gone to the ABC store to get liquored up.  I didn’t know any drug dealers so I never got high. 

My weight gain was something that happened quickly, and now almost seems intentional. 

I’ve written before about a doctor’s appointment that I had which made me cry on my doctors examining table.  It was the single lowest point in my life, being 26 and weighing in at 443 lbs after a childhood of being obese, then being thin for the first time in my life, to becoming morbidly obese.  In movies and books they always argue about what’s worse, always have been poor, or being rich and then becoming poor.

I can tell you in my situation going from, this to morbidly obese, is far worse than always having been overweight. 

When you are obese you not only feel bad all the time, but you are limited in your daily activities.  Taking a crap becomes an ordeal, about which to do first wipe your ass, pull your pants up, or use the handicap bars to pull yourself up first.  Things like sleeping become difficult because there is so much pressure against your lungs from your own body weight, you literally suffocate yourself. 

The fire in me started more than 5 years ago.  I immediately lost 100 lbs in a matter of months, losing the weight the exact same way I had in high school, not eating and working out until I passed out.

There came a point at 333 lbs where I felt so much lighter it felt like the end.  I could go up stairs, and get into most cars; I felt so much lighter I didn’t give it a second thought, which is precisely why I gained the weight back and almost got back to 400 lbs again.  Over the years I’ve gone up and down in this manner based on the time of year losing in the summer gaining in the winter.  I would workout religiously but as I got older my body just did not respond to the lower food intake. 

It was as if the less I ate the fatter I got.

Something has clicked in me that is the result of 100’s of small moments which have developed into something bigger.  Like a river this all started with a single drop of water falling from the sky or melting from a mountain cap. 

Each little moment I have endured or asked for has been a step out of the abyss.  Every movement forward has been a shift towards the direction of the sunlight.  Every time I’ve been able to get through my “Break through Wednesday” has been a giant leap towards achieving success.

Every meal that I have which is about sustaining me and not an emotional band aid is a literal lifeline out of this trap.  I am finding remarkable changes in simple areas of my life.  My house is cleaner.  I am better groomed, and I actually get of bed in the morning and make my bed. 

These are small things which by themselves are insignificant, but as a whole are indicators of how are lives are going.  The more chaotic my living space and personal life is, the more dysfunctional I must be, in a busy life you always find time to make your living space more livable, but in a distracted or disrupted life you always tell yourself there’s never enough time, or I’ll do it tomorrow.  Further pushing yourself into a hole which you eventually don’t want to climb out of, or even pretend that you are in…

Finding myself moving out of this cavernous prison which I created for myself, is a great feeling, yet I know I’m just getting started.  It’s a struggle to stay near the light, the old was is far too familiar and too easy to say no.  With every workout, meal, or positive comment I get is another chance for me to move towards the light, and out of the abyss. 

 One day soon, I will wake up, having tasted the sunlight for such a time long forget what the cold and darkness felt like…

Daily Recap

Monday didn’t start off the way I had anticipated; it was more of the same mediocre performance from Friday morning’s session with Ali.  I woke up late and didn’t’ have a chance to really “wake up”, in fact I don’t think I was truly “alive” until halfway through our session.

We started with boxing; Ali had actually tried to do some weight lifting but when he looked at me he almost became sympathetic and said you need to get warmed up.  The boxing was pure misery, my punches had no snap, and I had no power, my legs just felt like mush. 

In fact the entire session felt uninspired, I just couldn’t find any reserve to muster anything that resembled power.  I almost felt as if my pituitary gland had taken the day off, or was in protest. 

 

Following this uninspired workout I knew I had to get my shit together to get a great cardio session in, it took all I had to generate enough mental fortitude to get on the Arc Trainer.  I started with only one goal in mind, start at an incline of 15, and resistance level of 35 then move up to resistance 100.  I wanted to make sure that each step would be 3 minutes long, and that I would maintain a rate of movement which kept the red level indicator lights on the machine just below the top of the screen. 

I don’t think I’ve pushed this hard on a machine since my last Treading Class with Sam.  In the final two segments I went 4 minutes at resistance 95, and 5 minutes at resistance 100.  Following 45 minutes on the Arc Trainer I got on a treadmill, to do some sprints.  I walked for 1 minute at 3 mph, and ran for 1 minute at 6 mph, I then walked for 30 seconds, and then ran at 7 mph for 30 seconds, walked again, and rain again for 30 seconds.   I did two more sprints at 7 mph, for 1 minute each.

So…on a scale of 1 to 10 my overall workouts ended up being a 6, one awful one and one great one.  If I had to rate my performance today I would say I split the doubleheader today.

 

 

 

 

06/26/2011 Official Weigh IN Bring it on Bitches

Discovering Self Efficacy

I like to listen to audio books as I walk my dog, I figure in any given day I may spend 1-2 hours a day walking him, so why not learn something in the process.  I tend to choose books that are either classics I never got to read, or have stories which I find interesting where perhaps I can learn something.  Presently I am listening to the book “Seal Team 6: Memoirs of an Elite Navy Seal Sniper” by Howard Wasdin.  This is a fantastic book, with some great detailed stories, and provides an in depth look at what it takes to be a Navy Seal, and the personal cost that these Elite Warriors pay to be one of the best at what they do. 

In the 5^th chapter Wasdin recalls his experiences during Basic Underwater Demolition School better known as BUDS, the part of the chapter that just hit a chord in me today was during his explanation of “Hell Week” which is the fourth week of BUDS, and is essentially 5 days and nights of constant sleep deprived training, they would have to run 2 miles to the chow hall and 2 miles back for the next evolution, that’s 6 miles a day of running just to get a meal.  Within “Hell Week”  seal wannabes may only get 4 hours of sleep the entire week, “Hell Week” is the part of BUDS where all the people who can’t physically hack it have been washed out, and the game becomes about mental fortitude and the burning desire to become a Navy Seal. 

During Wasdin’s “hell week”  a moment occurred where one of the instructors pulls him aside after several dozen men have already wrung the bell out to quit, and tries to woo him out of “hell week”.  Beaten, exhausted, and mentally worn out Wasdin recalls almost taking the instructor up on his offer just so he could sit in a warm ambulance and drink hot coffee.  He says it was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life to walk away from the immediate relief of the ambulence, just to go back to his cold wet boat crew.

It is at this point that Howard Wasdin introduces the concept of “Self-Efficacy”.  The definition of “self-efficacy” as described Albert Bandura from Stanford University below:

“…is defined as people's beliefs about their capabilities to produce designated levels of performance that exercise influence over events that affect their lives. Self-efficacy beliefs determine how people feel, think, motivate themselves and behave.”

Wadin describes self-efficacy as belief in “the mission”.  He states even when it seems impossible the strength of belief is what makes it possible to succeed, the absence of belief is what guarantees failure.  It’s the strong belief in the mission which fuels our ability to focus, put forth effort, and persists, it allowed him to take the bigger goal and break it down into more manageable parts.  Essentially through the power of self-efficacy Wasdin found himself wanting to reach the gaol of being a Seal so bad that the short term discomfort coulnd’t outweigh the long term desire.  His mind broke down the rest of his time at BUDS one evaluation at a time, one moment at a time.

Self-efficacy comes from 4 places, again this is paraphrasing Albert Bandura from Stanford University. 

1-      Mastery experiences, those moments of achieving a high degree of success in a particular area where our success breeds our confidence, and belief in our abilities to accomplish something.

2-      Vicarious experience through social models, meaning that if we see people who are similar to us succeed in a given area then we find ourselves more determined to do the same for ourselves, “it can be done”, their success gives me the drive to succeed.

3-      Social Persuasion, through the verbal encouragement we mobilize greater efforts to master a given activity, this perceived self-efficacy leads us to try hard enough to succeed, so the drive actually develops the skill.

4-       Reliance on somatic and emotional states in judging our capabilities, so basically how we feel determines how good we are at something.  The better I feel the more likely I am to think I can accomplish an activity.

What’s the point you say?  If we can come up with a weight loss plan which utilizes these four sources of self-efficacy, how much faster would we reach our goals?  Let’s examine this idea.

1-      Master experiences – rather than just going to the gym to get on an elliptical, or treadmill for a 30 minutes or 60 minute workout, if I go with the thought of mastering a skill or reaching a goal how much more intense would my workout be?   For instance I have no desire to become a long distance runner, but I do plan on incorporating more sprints, and interval training is something I want to do.  The next time I have a cardio session I plan on having a set goal of working toward being able to do 5 sprints at 9 mph for a minute each with a minute of break in between.    

2-      Vicarious experience – my ability to interact with Dwayne, Kent, and others I’ve met at the Fitness Ridge has been fantastic.  Watching their success is a huge motivating for me to stay on track with my weight loss evolution.  Further I spend some evenings online looking for other bloggers like me who have reached their goal weight, and it can be inspiring in several ways. 

3-      Social persuasion – my use of social persuasion is at a huge financial cost.  I work with personal trainers, which allows me to have an outside party tell me I can do something when I think I can’t.  I can’t recall the number of times I feel like giving up, or that I can’t do something and I can.  When I did 10 push-ups last week for the first time in more than a decade it was my trainer who told me I could do it, I had to believe what he was telling me.  If I didn’t workout with trainers I would find a workout partner.  Our subconscious needs to hear that positive reinforcement from outside of our own minds to believe it sometimes.  It’s almost as if the subconscious doesn’t trust the conscious mind and that outside force doesn’t give our mind the choice, it just forces the “do”.

4-      The last part the physical and emotional state is probably the hardest source to tap, because many outside factors control how I feel, or should I say choose to respond to outside factors in way that will vary my mood.  It’s hard to tell yourself all the time the way I choose to respond is more important than what someone else says.  The physical state is something I can control through taking more time to rest, getting enough sleep and eating food which fuels me rather than wears me out.

I have no idea whether or not what I’ve described above correctly defines self-efficacy I’m not a psychologist, and I skipped psyche 101 in college so I can’t you how accurate I am, but I do know the general principle makes complete sense. 

If we can create a workable plan which incorporates the best of what we can do, and focuses on the ability to succeed as opposed to the possibility of failure I know we will find ourselves happier, and healthier.  Don’t let life determine your choices, see the end goal in mind, and know you have the ability to master your body composition, it’s been done by millions of people, but for each individual it has to start with a single moment of desire which we will build upon to self-actualize the end image we have of ourselves in mind. 

06/26/2011 Official Weigh In

295 lbs

32.7 % Body Fat

42.3 BMI

Holy shit I can’t believe that I’ve had two straight weeks of losing a big number.  I’m down another 6 pounds from last week.  It’s also the first bit of body fat change I’ve had in a couple of weeks, getting on the scale and seeing the number “2” at the start of my weight is something I thought I wouldn’t ever see again.

Here I stand in my glorious fat body, happy to have gotten this far, yet I am now fully focused on the 250 lbs mark.  The 250lbs marker is the next short term goal, this race horse has finally left the gates, I have to show a committed intensity every time I go to the gym.  I will not allow myself to fall backwards I’ve come too far, and made too many changes. 

I have started to incorporate more flavors back into my foods, using low calorie marinades, and incorporating more natural fats like small quantities of olive oil, cheese, and butter.  It’s most likely coincidence but the last two weeks where I have lost more than 5 lbs each week are the two weeks that I brought back a steady stream of healthy fats. 

This week was also the first official weigh in of the two weight loss contests that I am involved in, before I post the official weights, a brief commercial break.

 

Contestant	6/19/2011	6/26/2011
Dwayne	297	295	-0.67%
Kent	231	227	-1.73%
Louis	301	295	-1.99%
Sherri	169	168	-0.59%

I win!  Sherri and Dwayne you are up for elminination.

Followed by some more trash talking:

 

I have a good feeling about the rest of this week, but I think going into next week I may take a 5 day rest period starting with Saturday as day one.  We will see how I feel on Friday.

My workout plan this week:

	27		28		29		30	July	1
Ali PT 6 AM				7 Am Ian		7 AM Ian		Ali 6 AM
Mountain 7 AM		9 AM LIZ						7 AM Treading
				Ali 11:00 AM
				Yoga?

06/25/2011 Power of Change

The Power of Change

Part I The Change in Me

As great as my recent physical change has felt in my life through my personal evolution, the emotional change is the real prize.  I find my mind working at a pace that I haven’t felt for many years, I used to worry as a kid that my brain was working so fast that I was either crazy or on the verge of a hallucination.  The faster my body becomes lighter, the more rapidly my brain function feels unencumbered.  I’ve described it previously as a cloud; literally a haze has lifted from my thoughts. 

Gone are the feelings of inadequacy, or the roots of depression, I feel powerful in the every aspect of the word.  I am confident, I find myself saying hello to strangers while walking my dog all the time, and making eye contact with people who in the past I avoided.  There is a level of mental clarity which is hard for me to tangibly describe other than clear thinking. 

How much better is life when you can appreciate the sounds, smells, and feel the feelings which differentiate us from other animals?

Kind of looked like this guy all the time.

My temper is no where near as short as it had become, I am able to control those moments of extreme anger which in the past would have set me off into a wild tirade.  I know there are studies which make a connection between physical well being, and brain function, yet is there something deeper than that goes beyond just physical connections of hormones and synapses.  What part of the brain am I accessing today which is giving me this feeling of well being, it is giving a rebirth to my drive and determination.

When I wake up in the morning the feelings of utter dread, and lack of desire to face the world are gone. 

I have always been ambitious, sometimes unrealistically so, the present state of my business coupled with extremely poor health had basically beaten any ambitions out of me.  Today I sit here typing with feelings that anything is possible. 

I've just started the real work too in terms of my weight loss, how much better will I feel when I get to the start of the rest of my life at 185 lbs?

Part II Revelation from Daily Recap

Today was the first day in quite some time that I’ve spent time helping my staff on the frontlines cleaning cars.  I know it may not seem like it, but the job of a car wash manager is difficult, dynamic, and thankless.  I know because I spent the first 4 years of my business acting as one, so now having to fill those shoes again after a couple years of not being the manager is like becoming an officer in the military and then running out of enlisted men and going through boot camp again. 

I have a couple of people who I think I will hire in the next week, with a consultant friend of mine coming in the first week of July to provide training I have to pick one of the candidates that I’ve already interviewed.  The process has been far more tedious, but my new found energy has kept me on track in terms of not going for the easy, and looking for the best available.  I went ahead and scheduled the training because I have a handful of people I like and given enough time I will analyzes them to death and not hire anyone, so a drop dead deadline was necessary.

Again the job of a car wash manager is both mentally and physically taxing, like a restaurant manager, but the compensation typically is no where near as high as high volume restaurant managers.  I think this is why there is no national chain of car washes. 

In helping to process cars today I could not believe my level of stamina, I could just keep going, and maintain a high level of mental alertness.  In the past I would help for an hour and feel like I had just gone 5 rounds with Floyd Mayweather.  I spent 5-6 hours today helping the both of the sites and I still had ample reserves of energy at the end of the day.  In fact after the physical part of my day I felt better, even more energetic.

I posted yesterday about my short term future business plans.  After a day to marinate on it, I am taking this up as a real challenge.  The piece which has been missing in my business’ further development was me.  I have been a passenger, after years of burnout, mental exhaustion, emotional frustration and a lack of physical well being I had given up and was looking for something easier.  I don’t see myself doing this for ever, but in the immediate future I plan on shaping this business into something which I conceived almost 10 years ago.  The business is successful, but not in the way I want it to be, it’s run like a good mom and pop business, but not one that could be franchised or have more 3 units.   

I won’t bore you with further details, but my mind can’t stop thinking about the fact that in order for me to reach the goals that I have in my life that I have to grab this business by the tail and make it into the vision that I had in mind when I first set out on this professional path.  To sell now for a dollar amount which would provide a good ROI, is not enough, I need the emotional ROI, the one that tells me that I can set forth a specific goal of not a dollar value, or revenue, or any other mathematical matrices that I can conjure up, but about creating and delivering a vision. 

If I can’t create a vision with what I have at hand, then how will I ever create a manifest anything on a larger scale?  My heart might not be in the particular type of work I am doing, but it is deeply in the overall scope of making sure I finished what I started.  I know I have greater business ideas, and business plans but to take the next 12-18 months to implement the change for the future which will help manifest the vision of the business that I set forth with, that I can’t put a price tag or value on.

It would also allow me to achieve a goal in my life which I set forth in my 20’s, which was to help leave a lasting legacy of the 30+ years that my parents have spent toiling in this country.  They ate shit, they sacrificed their bodies, they gave up their lives, to make sure me and my siblings had the true American Experience.  We never wanted for anything, and never missed anything because we couldn’t afford it, they always found a way. 

Many future generations of my family will exist, all stemming from the roots created by my parents, one day these bastards won’t even know the names of the people that brought about their existence or created their financial security, by helping to keep a legacy in place at least for the next few generations they will know of the story of a couple who didn’t’ speak the language who went from working their first jobs in textile factories, to driving Mercedes, and then leaving a foothold in this country which has helped multiple generations of their lineage a large step up in life. 

I know that to achieve anything less than excellence for me and my family is tantamount to failure. 

The inertia which existed in my body weight translated to an inert life.  I was in the same place day after day not making progress.  Each week of progress is showing me that regardless of how immoveable something may appear to be, a small step forward is like the initial push of a big boulder.  It may rock back and forth as you try and crate enough leverage to make it move, then eventually you get it closer and closer to the top of a hill where one big push is all it takes for the boulder to roll down the hill. 

I am such a dope; some lessons in my life take forever for my subconscious to accept.  These are lessons I should have taken to heart many years ago, and many of the epiphanies I am having along the way are more like forgotten memories than they are new revelations. 

Change is powerful, because I am powerful. 

06/25/2011 Amateur Trainer or Amateur Trainee

Amateur Trainer or Amateur Trainee

I had some time this evening, and didn’t have anything planned so I took it upon myself to give a "fitness hand" to the kid that works for me who I wanted to choke out a few weeks back.  He’s a good kid, just doesn’t’ t know much about anything, I don’t blame him because he comes from a situation where I don’t think he was exposed to much, and he tries to overcompensate his feelings of inadequacies by talking too much.  He’s one of those kids that can’t appreciate silence, in the movie Crimson Tide, Gene Hackman tells Denzel Washington "Good Job Hunter..." and goes into a diatribe about egg heads who would have fucked up the view, this kid would have just fucked up the view.

He is also a major hypochondriac, he has been in the ER more times in the last year than my two parents who are in their 70’s have in the last 5 years combined.  I started talking to him before I left for Malibu in March that he should focus on getting his health better.  He drinks cokes all day, smokes too much, and eats crap.  What’s so funny is that his constant need to talk will actually prevent him from eating sometimes, I recall one time I went to check on the wash that he works at, and he was so eager to talk to me that his lunch which he was about to eat went cold, so he threw it out.  No he didn’t buy anything else to eat, I've never met a mouth prevent itself from feeding itself.

The other guys he works with at that location workout 3-4 times a week, and are in good shape.  He really wants to get stronger, and build his confidence from the inside out.  I know what he makes, which is not enough to afford at trainer, and I am generous but not that fucking nice.  So I decided I would workout with him this evening and teach him technique on a few basic exercises, and then put him through a shorten Metcon workout. 

If you have ever seen a chicken try and dance that would describe this guy.  His body is so tight everywhere that he can’t relax enough to keep his chest up and back straight, he stays hunched over, I ended up spending more than 90 minutes a good chunk of trying to get him into the right position.

Every time he wanted to start talking about high school wrestling, or relate something to me or the situation I told him to shut up, and keep working.  The funny thing was in this context he just did it...

I taught him how to do a dumbbell chest press, a standing bent over row, a body weight squat, lunges, burpees, mountain climbers, dumbbell curls, and a couple of stretches.

During the Metcon which invovled 1 minute each of the following push-ups, pull-ups, squats, burpees, push presses.  I gave him 1:30 rest in the middle of the Metcon at which point he said to me that I’ve told him I’m not a "rah, rah" type of guy so don’t expect it.  He said that I was, and didn’t realize it.  I can push and motivate this kid in the context of athletics, but why can’t I apply that to him in business.

It made me realize first that I need to hire the best all the time, and with my rediscovered mental fortitude, the best people who are coach able, and have the mindset to learn.  Then I am going to motivate rather than break balls.  I'm going to change this business like I am changing myself, and turn it into either the most well oiled car wash in the US, and keep it long term or position to sell it as the best car wash in the US. 

This is a challenge I will take on, and thanks to 90 minutes with this kid, I've realized that like the way I felt about my body, the way I feel about my business is the same thing.  I will change it from the inside out and make it something that generates great financial freedom, or a cash cow that I can cash in at the cage like stacks of $100,000 Belagio Chips. 

Ultimately if I’m not happy with this business I don’t think I could be happy in any business, because it’s what I make of it.  I am still a business owner who makes his time and schedule not the “man”.  I realize today a great deal of my unhappiness with the business was a direct result of my health and lack of positive personal development.  Regardless of what I do in a year today, I am going to do the effort to take this mature business the next 10-15% growth curve where every business goes from being good to great.  I plan on doing everything in my life great.  I will start with this business.

Daily Recap

After a week of great workouts, I capped it out with an uninspired morning.  The night before I had a guest over, who kept me up longer than I anticipated, and as an added bonus I had to drive this guest to the airport at 5 AM.  Needless to say I got 5 hours of sleep which apparently after the age of 25 no longer recharges you enough to make yourself functional.  Waking up I felt like I had been out at a fraternity party all night, doing keg stands, and bong hits while trying to watch the movie Friday spending the entire night pretending to be Chris Tucker, playing Mario Cart endlessly for hours, and trying to devise a way to bake a cake only using my mind, a spoon, and a bowl…not that I’ve ever done that before…or ever seen that happen…

When I got to the gym I wanted to go back home and go back to bed, from the start of the session I knew I wasn’t going to be able to do a back to back.  This wasn’t just a case of the “I don’t want to work blues”, I actually felt for the first time if I push myself as hard as I normally do I will hurt myself.  I think the only fortunate outcome of the circumstances that lead up to my session with Ali was that he had a person in the time slot an hour behind my original one, so I didn’t start working out with him until two hours after my original time, which meant when I was done I had to go work.  Otherwise I’m pretty sure I would have tried to run on the treadmill today, precisely because of how bad I was feeling.

Ali had me warm up on the treadmill doing cart pushers, and boxing.  The initial round of boxing with Ali defined the term uninspiring, I couldn’t get a good snap into my punches, and my hand speed was nonexistent.  Amidst the mediocre boxing I found a way to get a good combination of punches probably once every 3^rd or 4^th punch.

After the warm-up Ali had me start with some back work doing upright rows using a barbell, and doing squat to upright rows.  Each exercise was done for a minute at a time, and done for two sets.  We then moved into some chest presses with dumbbells.  While lying on a stability ball I warmed up my chest doing presses with 40 lbs dumbbells, and then moving to 50 lbs dumbbells.  He would have me alternate between regular chest presses and negative resistance presses. 

 

 It was a struggle to get through the next 40 minutes of the session, not because he wasn’t keeping it interesting but I physically didn’t have it, or more importantly I allowed my mind to give up and I was mentally not prepared. 

 

With the remaining time we were able to work in more boxing and focused a great deal of attention on biceps, triceps, and shoulders.   I didn’t rest between sets for very long, in fact I was only concered about keeping my body moving. 

When we finished I went home had breakfast, and then went to work.  50% of me felt awesome that I was able to gut out a workout, whiel the other 50% of me was pissed that I didn’t do the treading session afterwards.

I guess I am learning a bit of moderation, yet I hope it’s a not case of back sliding.

My eating went well today, it was one of only a dozen days were I have actually eaten everything that I had planned from the day before.  In terms of sticking to a diet plan, it couldn’t get much better than this…

 

Top Five Things I Want to Do When I reach 300 lbs

5 - Run 100 Yards without stopping

4 - Buy a new pair of pants.

3 - Get a therapeutic massage (non happy ending massages), because I am now clear to lie on a massage table. 

2- Buy a new pair of shoes, that are actually my size.

1- Go eat at a restaurant that only has booths and not be scared that my gut my hang over the table. 

Top 5 Things I Want to do at 300 lbs!

5 - Buy new clothes, at a pant size which is below 50.

4- Take a flight just to see if I can fit in it with out spilling over to the next seat.

3- See if I can find a hat that fits my head.

2- Try doing 10 jumping jacks.

1- Try to ride a bicycle. 

Ten Things I Want to Do as Soon as I reach My Goal Weight...

10- Buy a custom suit from Zegna

9- Spend $5000.00 on a whole new wardrobe. 
Brands I want:
     

8- Take a flight anywhere in coach, and not worry about the person next to me.

7- Ride a Roller coaster

6- Ride a bicycle with out feeling like the tires are going to pop.

5- Hike Little Devils Staircase in the Shenandoah Mountains!

4- Run a Mile

3- Play Golf Again

2- Rock Climb and Backpack Colorado 2 14'ers

1- Learn to Fly A Plane

Top Ten Reasons Why Fat People Make Good Friends...

Top Ten Reasons Why Fat Friends Are Great!

10 - We always want to grab a bite to eat, so you will never have to eat along again.

9- Because we encroach on other seats in the movie theater no one wants to sit near us, it's like you are going to a private screening.

8- If you are learning to cook it's a good way to build confidence because we will eat any old crap.

7- Because our clothing is over sized you can always borrow a shirt and use it as a car cover for your mini-cooper.

6- Errah, John Candy, pants can substitute as an additional sail when you are on the Barnacle and need a little extra win to win the Summer Regatta.

5- If you sell bibs you will be very rich because fat people spill food like it's their job

4- You never have to pay for food, because you can feed a family of starving third world children from the crumbs that we drop.

3- The wider the ass the larger the sign you can sell that says something like "Pokerstars.net"

2- Relative to other ailments, disabilities, or conditions you can show the world you have sympathy for someone less fortunate, without having to listen to incoherent thoughts, potty train someone, or push someone around in a wheel chair.

1- No matter what you look like next to a fatty you are a fucking Superstar!

TOP TEN REASONS WHY IT SUCKS TO BE OBESE!

For people who have never had issues with their weight there is an automatic assumption that being overweight is easy.  Being obese is not fun!  Everyone's road to becoming obese is different, mine being a tailspin that never got under control until it was way too late. 

What is clear at least to me is that obese people have some fundamental aspect of their life which is out of control.  Some people are self destructive by drinking, or getting high for fatty's it's something internal that manifests itself through food.  Ask an obese person if they enjoy food, they don't!  

How can they when for the most part their taste buds aren't functioning properly because of diabetes, high blood pressure, or some other ailment.  It's not about the taste of food as it is the actual act of consumption.  I doubt that most obese people enjoy anything they eat beyond the first few bites.  I promise you if you know someone who is obese that the weight is not the only part of their life which is out of control, their something else that they are keeping a secret which is royally fucked up.  How can anyone function normally when your body is screaming for relief?

In any case I don't know what ails every fat person but I do know something internally made feel small as a person which made me become physically BIG!  As a result there are a few things that really suck!

10-Not Fitting into An Airplane Seat, and fighting to keep yourself from spilling over into the person next to you.

9-Going to a restaurant with a friend and being seated at a booth and cringing before you sit down, hoping your gut doesn't touch the table.

8-Always checking restaurants to see if they have chairs with arm rests, and wondering if you can sit in them.

7-Being selective about the furniture you choose to sit in, and rather choosing to stand even if you are exhausted because you don't want to be the but of a joke because a leg broke.

6-Having to buy clothes at the XL store = which means ONLY FAT PEOPLE SHOP HERE!

5-Paying double the price for every piece of clothing you own because #1 more fabric, and #2 they know you have no other choices!

4-Major Sleep Apnea and feeling like shit all the time!

3-Avoiding public places in general because you can't stand the feeling of everyone starring at the fat man

2-Avoiding your friends and family because you are afraid not of their reaction but the reaction of other people as you spend time with them.

1-Not being able to hold your girlfriends hand in public because she is nice and thin, because some asshole will make a gesture or comment under there breath that just devastates you as a person.